March 2017 Newsletter

Mr MCKREKOR reporting

Mr MCKREKOR reporting! Not that it is hard to find worms these days, in fact the worm is in about EVERYTHING I look at. All I have to do is turn my keen eye to the ground and there it is!

665 earthquakes in Washington

  • 3 earthquakes in the past 24 hours
  • 15 earthquakes in the past 7 days
  • 50 earthquakes in the past 30 days
  • 665 earthquakes in the past 365 days

While I am deciding if I should stick with the worms or aim for the food Lilian left for me I can hear the news inside of the house. There is no lack of information, she leaves the TV on ALL DAY and ALL NIGHT. You think she would loose her mind with all the negative things they, on TV, talk about.

She insists people have to be informed and yells at the television set at times. I think she knows everyone’s voice and doesn’t even look while cooking, just laughs hysterically and yells at the Anchors. Well great, she must have been to Trader Joe’s and bought some “natural” bird seed. Wish I knew what it suppose to have tasted like before it was poisoned with GMO’s. But to tell it right, it only takes a few minutes to drive the extra mile and come as close to real food as we can these days. She, Lilian was excited to learn that ALDI owns Trader Joe’s, which explained the prices. It is almost impossible to get healthy food. Main Stream News is finally talking about Chemtrails, and the pollution of the Oceans. I think now that the President has refered to the news as the enemy of the people they just started to tell it all. Good, NEWS should be neutral and not afraid of the government. It has also been reported that the nuclear accident due to the Tsunami is now responsible for the radiation in the Pacific Ocean. I am sure leery of eating anything that even looks like a fish. It is hard to get any information because so many of the Government Information Websites have been taken down by our new President. No telling how long this site will be available to the people.

Speaking of the “HUMAN” President of the USA, he has managed to dismantle the whole world…..or as close as he can get to it… in 38 days.

38 DAYS!

I am just a feathered creature but because of that I can spread my wings and get around so I can spy undetected on people, places and things and I have heard an ear full.

  • Trump courted Rappers to be on HIS side, total of rap-songs about himself was reported at 67 but the estimate is 200+. Unfortunately it turns out they are NOT in his favor.
  • Demonstrations in the street daily. More often than not Trump mistakes them for people cheering for him, at least that is what it looks like from the height in which I am traveling.
  • He has managed to insult all the allies.
  • He has managed to ignore the courts in reference to his travel ban.
  • The black Snake in Native prophecy is the Oil Pipeline. He has managed to, over everyone’ s objections, ordered the completion of a part on Native Land employing the military.
  • He has hired people with ties to White Supremacy.
  • He has dismantled Human Rights issues.
  • He has broken up families by deporting Mothers and Fathers, sick and old. By doing this there is a possibility the economy will greatly suffer. It is not about commerce but human compassion except Money is the only thing he can relate to.
  • He has barred responsible Media to attend briefings.
  • By his behavior he has greatly damaged the travel industry.
  • Because of his behavior the country is divided, hopefully not beyond repair.
  • He has coined the term “Fake News” and “Alternate facts”( by his advisor)
  • He has removed many informative websites having to do with Climate Change and subjects vital to some who need government Info and various subjects.


I am sure I forgot a lot but it is overwhelming for my bird brain. I just hope that he will not raise the price on my food.

Lilian’s car died, thanks to a family member she is mobile again. Her Granddaughter was lucky to have been on the road a week before disaster struck. She drove Lilian’s new Loaner car….. new to her…. from Los Angeles to Olympia without incident. Within just a few days New Orleans had 7 Tornadoes, California is flooded, bridges and roads destroyed. The West Coast has suffered Land slides, Rock slides, flooding, earthquakes and snow.

Australia and parts of Europe also had weather related disasters. The list is too long for me, my brain can only retain so much.

The worms are so abundant at the moment, did I mention it snowed again last night? I should really peck a hole and imprison some of them for a late supper, but I guess I would have to watch them and would be unable to tell you the going on’s. Did I mention the worms are fat this time of the year, what an abundance…. guess I’ll let them slither away THIS TIME.

The UFO Conference Lilian intended to take part in was very successful. MINUS her because it snowed and she thought she was not going to undertake a 5-hour drive round-trip. She had really looked forward to seeing Peter Davenport, Derrel Sims the Alien Hunter and James Clarkson and his wife. Next year perhaps, next year perhaps.

Pow Wow 2017

Each year Lilian attends the Pow Wow at the Squaxin Tribe. She says she needs it to recharge her batteries for the year. And she does attend, hail, rain, snow, nothing can deter her from going. She complained for the whole year that February in the North West is not a good time for festivities, she hates the rain, but like every year she goes to the Pow Wow to visit with her friends who have come from all parts of the country too.


This father so lovely painted his son’s face and gave her permission to share the picture with you. I think it was this image which stuck in Lilian’s mind the most…. besides the Navajo Frybread.

Many of her friends were there, some were missing from the festivities and there was a good reason. Some of the Tribal Members were still in Standing Rock ND. 2 trucks with Salmon and a truck with firewood was on the way to ND for the brothers and sisters still in the camps trying to prevent the Oil Pipeline to be build , to save the water for ALL and guard the sacred sites on the reservation. The camps of the Keepers of the Water was on everyone’s mind and the topic of conversation. Lilian Had allowed the tribe to post LIVE FEEDS from the camps on her Facebook and with that kept the world informed of the atrocities happening there. She shared the prayers and talks and kept track of who was there and listed important messages. It was her way of fighting for Mother Earth.

The atrocities which took place there and the President’s unwillingness to wait for the courts to settle and render a decision to continue the Black Snake from the Hopi Prophesy. The snake that winds through sacred lands and ruins the water. He ordered in troops to remove the people from the camps, some were arrested. Young and old. A few nights earlier they had confiscated the sleeping bags. It was minus 27 degrees.

Lilian remembered her talks with the Navajo Friends which explained to her at one point when someone dies they abonden the Hogans, no one else ever lives there. In this case the tribes set the camps on fire. Lilian remembered her conversations with Little Joe Coyote during her stay at the Cheyenne where Joe explained to her that the land was rich in minerals but rather than surrendering the land they would stay poor and protect Mother Earth. And so they did. Oil will be flowing by March 5th, regardless the outcome in court. In the meantime, someone posted a $2.5 million dollar bail for everyone arrested.

I sat on a trashcan close to the heater in the pavilion to flirt a bit. There were many Crows and some pretty nice I must say. I thought about picking a mate but then decided against it since I would have to fly such a long way to see my Sweetheart unless she wanted to follow me home. On second thought that means Lilian has just one more mouth to feed. She says she is too old and does not handle stress any more…I am starting to believe her… she gets so cranky and the computer age is hard for her to handle. She could use help sometimes but the younguns are too busy with Education, work and relationships. Good luck with getting her to ask for help! The attire of the people was breathtaking, even the babies were in their finest. I was happy that some actually stopped and talked to me knowing I was a messenger.

When we got back home Lilian’s friend talked her into taking a look at what is ahead for the Country she calls her home and loves so much. I tried picking at the card and make her smile, I sensed she was apprehensive, bordering on scared. She just shushed me away and I hid in a corner while she eventually took a look.

  • Desperation will be gone soon but many hearts are like they have been torn out of our bodies. ( Deportations)
  • The higher you rise the deeper you will fall.
  • March will be a time to lighten up because forces are working behind the scenes.
  • April some of the pain will have eased. Mental recovery will take time.
  • May is time to get back to normal and we have to be willing to help others adjust.
  • June the economy will suffer to the point where people have to dip into their savings, including the country.
  • July will have a person coming to the forefront that can soothe us as a people a bit, we will be in emotional need by then.
  • August we will finally start paying attention and take into account what the masses want.
  • September will bring relief, which would bring it back into her time-line from what she perceived in the Predictions 2017. Lots of pain and urgency to normalize.
  • November will make our defenses weak, at the same time we will begin to break the ice with different cultures, languages and political Ideas.
  • December will show us that commercially we have lost so much, Banks and Factories that suffered during the Summer will not be able to recover.
  • The Exodus will come to an end, we will find our way again, slowly and will have to explore some spiritual levels other than what we are use to. This does not appear to be religious.

She thought about the possibility that Trump is just the figure head and Mr. Bannon will finally fade. It is possible that he was the man without the face she “saw” in the White House in the original predictions for 2017. That would also explain why MR. Trump was NOT the President. Please keep in mind that an accurate time-frame for a psychic is like hitting the moon with a paperclip. Things may not happen in the order listed here but she is confident that it is the big picture. We will slowly regain the confidence of the Allies and the World it will be a long road till respect can be felt.

I really have to ask where Lilian bought the sunflower seeds I am chewing on, they are so hard, hope I don’t break my little beak.

Lilian lost two more friend in February. Roger Tallwalker Apple, a fellow Clairvoyant. Here is what his wife Roberta wrote about him:

This morning as I was preparing to go to work, I assisted Roger to the bathroom and went about getting my things together. He walked from the bathroom to the kitchen doorway and grabbed onto the door frame. I rushed to help him and we made it about 4 steps before he collapsed in my arms. I gently lowered him to the floor and that was it. He had left me already by then.
We met when we were both broken and adrift in life, In our mid forties and both mateless. He said once when we had been dating for a few months that we both needed someone so we could be someone for one another.

I loved him, laughed with him, helped him when I could with what I could. We had a great many struggles over the past 16 years. We met online originally and met in person in late June of 2001. He brought me June apples. We married on July 25, 2002. Christmas In July. I love him dearly and ever shall. I would have lived with him, but he insisted on marriage. He held the doors open for me, and defended me fiercely if he felt I were wronged. He was the gentlest, kindest, most decent person I have ever known. He honored me by being my spouse and friend.

Bye, Baby. What is remembered lives, so he is just waiting for me where gentle souls reside

Roger and Roberta



Lilian’s friend of 30 years Mike Johns also left this world after an accident he was involved in and was unable to recover from. The viewers will also miss him, he was a member on Lilian’s crew and a frequent guest on her show.

Because of President Trump’s feud with main Stream Media and his refusal to allow them to sit in on a recent News Briefing, it would appear some of them are speaking more freely and are covering subjects they usually shyed away from.

Lilian and many of her acquaintances have been talking about EXO PLANETS for better of 30 years so it was a wonderful surprise when they shared the news with us they now have been found. I am a Crow and think it is not right to keep things from people, they can make their own decisions. It is also sad that some fractions of Human Society wants to ram their believes down everyone’s throat. That is why wars are started, instead to combine all the knowledge of the world and all “fly” in Unity, much as we Crows do.



In my Bird life I will not ever experience what part of the World saw on February 26th 2017. A Ring of Fire Sun Eclipse. Unfortunately it was not visible in America, I am kind of glad because I heard it said it could blind you if you don’t protect your eyes a certain way. I can just imagine what it would be like to finally find my Missus without seeing her. What if she had her wing clipped….if you know what I mean….

Ring of Fire Sun Eclipse

February was a strange, unpredictable month. Here is the origin of the name:

The word February comes from the Roman festival of purification called Februa where people were ritually washed. There is a Roman god called Februus, but he is named after the festival, not the other way around.

There was nothing pure about THIS February, very close to Chaos…. instead of fixing problems everyone…well many… took a Stupid Pill. Not to worry, it will wear of in 4 hours. Universal Time.

Lilian as crow avatar
Love and Light

Mr MCKrekor.

Here is some thoughts by William W. Hawk. It was a live broadcast and I posted the comments below. It gives me hope so many people from around the world responded.

This video received almost 23000 hits and close to 1000 shares.

February 2017 Newsletter

crow Mr. McKrekor
Mr McKrekor here….

First day of 2017, like anything changes just because we flipped the calender….. but that is what people like to believe so let’s go with that.

Lilian drove to town, as always , with me in tow. She mentioned to her passenger that things felt weird and he agreed. A Red-Father-Hawk followed her…he must not have seen me because they have known to attack a little fella like me and I was a bit nervous… Traffic lights were out on Olympia and they had snuck an oil-train in on the town. Guess no-one was looking for a fracking oil train on a holiday and with that they “ People of Olympia” were outsmarted and it kept protesters away.

A blue small SUV cut in front of Lilian and the bumper-sticker read” When People lead the leaders will follow. Lilian thought that was a crazy sticker with our new President and all…but it got better. Another sticker: EVE WAS SET UP.. Oh, Oh here it comes….I wish she, Lilian would quit doing this, stop people to ask questions. It is a nice little town, the Capitol of Washington State , but in this day and age you have to be careful with all the shooting etc going on everywhere. And there she goes…. gesturing for the woman in the SUV to pull over and SHE did. How ya doing? Nice Bumpersticker. Did you have a nice New Year?” Hi there…I did and thank you.” Here is Lilian, I knew it, I knew it! What does EVE was set up mean? “Beats the hell out of me I just thought it was logical… There you have it, they got back in the cars and went on their merry way.

It was so cold, snow on the mountains, Ice and on pavement and one of the prettiest Sunsets I have seen…. I was so happy when Lilian went home to feed the cat, she said and of course there was a bit of food for me also. Nothing fancy, she just threw my food out of the front door. Wonder what she was thinking.

Inauguration Day came and true to their word MANY people joined the boycott on TV and refuse to watch to keep down the TV ratings in protest of Donald Trump becoming President. I was puzzled, as much as I can be puzzled… remember now I am a Crow… Lilian got in the car, me in tow and to the movie she went. Imagine how complected it was for me to sneak by the checker and hide between the seats without anyone noticing me. Champ Crow that I am I managed somehow…undetected and indulged in the movie…. not sure if indulged is the proper word….hanging out with Lilian taught me to just go with the flow of flight….she makes up words and expect people to know what she means.

People were crunching on their treats and talked about the new Laws in effect since the first day of the New Year. Only driving in the right lane unless passing. Very funny, Lilian does that all the time and people tease her. They say she drives like and old Lady, guess what. She never has to worry about a ticket now.

The Rumor of having the Power Grit having been hacked my Russia did not hold true and the conversion shifted to reincarnated Crusators, Templars and young people being upset with the Illuminati. How am I suppose to relate to THAT? I have positioned myself behind a shoe the lady next to Lilian kicked of, great hiding place. Aha, now I get it. The lady recognized my friend from her TV Show and they are actually talking about the Show Ancient Aliens Season 9, Episode 3 and comparing it to present day aggressiveness of people who don’t think the way some believe the world should function.

The movie has started. HIDDEN FIGURES…. the story of the 30 Afro American woman which worked as “HUMAN COMPUTERS” for NASA, calculating all figures needed to get America to the moon.

I am so fascinated what the human species can accomplish when they set their mind to it, at the same time it is amazing how competitive they are….at ALL cost. Guess I should not say that; we Crows are survival oriented also and we are thieves. We like shiny things and have been known to fly off with things not belonging to us. But if you think about it, we don’t know the difference we use what is available and laying around. We just park ourselves where we please and do what we do, which reminds me, what am I going to do if I have to poop. …

John Glenn insist on using the figures of the women to allow himself to be shot off into space…. Lilian is doing a low crawl to get to the Latrine…. it is a long movie and my problem is solved. After I worked myself back to the show I was hiding in I thought I felt a little shaky, as it turned out later I found out there had been a few earthquakes over a period of a few days. At least it my shakiness was not from the droppings of popcorn on the Theater floor….remember I take things where I find it.

earthquake map of Washington

Lilian fills a large trashcan on rollers with firewood. She keeps it on the porch my the front-door, so that is where I will sit for a while and eavesdrop on all the going no’s. I can see through the window and make sure I am not missing anything. Inauguration is done and OH, OH here it comes.

Someone is airing photos from President Obama’s Inauguration and today;s festivities. Guess it worked in more ways than one, not too many people. Using Fair Use I will show you the picture.

Obama vs Trump Inauguration size

Top is 2008, bottom is 2017. Our new President is VERY upset and at a later time demands a new picture. According to him in what is called Alternative Facts…..the new phrase of the year I am sure, he feels that he had the LARGEST ATTENDANCE EVER.

January 21st was the day of the WOMEN March, It is said over 3 million women, some men along with children marched in protest all over the country. Many Cities in other countries also participated.

There was no unrest or arrest, an unheard occurrence as far as I heard. It is amazing what people can accomplish in Unity. Suppose they are taking lessons from my Brothers when traveling South for the Winter? On the other hand I heard Lilian tell someone she saw Canadian Geese fly North, trying to get away from the Chaos of the Election I wonder? Well, that was not nice for me to say but I am a Crow, so I can think what I want, I live by a different set of rules. Rather orderly I might add.

Women Marches in US map

Lilian is famous for knowing where all the public Restrooms are in town, so it was only natural for her to do her part for the March in Washington D.C. And find a map to post of all the restroom on the marcher’s route, since she is in no shape to march anywhere.

map public restrooms

Trump Unites America Against Trump

In Olympia 10,000 marched and this is what one of Lilian’s relative wrote:

Women holding rights placards

“I marched because I can. I marched because a lot of women can’t, even if you don’t see them. I marched for women of privilege, women who don’t have shit, women who are raising awesome children with their same-sex partner who has to legally adopt the child that is biologically hers, and might find herself spontaneously unmarried in the eyes of the Supreme Court. I marched for women who need reproductive healthcare of any kind. I marched for the 17-year old pregnant girl who dropped out of school to sort my clothes at the dry cleaners for $7.25/hour. She has to quit when the baby comes because she doesn’t get any time off, paid or otherwise. Her next job will be minimum wage, too, because she hasn’t gotten her GED yet and doesn’t know if she can get in the night school program because she’ll need someone to stay with her newborn. I marched for the woman who was raped in college and still hasn’t even told her best friend, after all these years.”

Here is a peace of paper with addresses on it about the March around the world AND a video timelaps from the protests in Seattle WA.

I am so in thought, the mailman almost caught me peeping in the window. He finally delivered Lilian;s heart medicines. They were delayed by 3 weeks because because the Lady at WESTERN UNION convinced her a WU Money Order was being honored all around the world. It was NOT TRUE. Western Union does NOT sell International Money Orders. It too 4 weeks for the momey to be returned, when Lilian was attempting to get a refund by canceling the MO she was told it would take 30 days, a fee of $15 plus mailing has to be included. It was urgent for her to receive her pills so she submitted the order a second time and was without Medication. SO DON’T DO IT! Purchase your International Money Orders at the US Postal Service!

All the Hoopla and for the second time in a year Lilian missed a Doctor;s Appointment do to a Weather Event. The fist time a windstorm and the second an Ice Storm. She was told to find a new provider because she canceled twice in 6 month. She was able to keep her appointment with her Cardiologist and was told that it is ILLIGAL to deny a patient service because of an act of Nature, even under the Affordable Care Act, what everyone refers to as Obama Care. President Trump to the rescue in form of MANY totally damaging Presidential Executive Orders, which in many peoples opinion are practically dismantling the world as we know it. STAY TUNED!

I managed to see a clip on Television where President Trump teases everyone with a letter he said President Obama left for him, but he was not telling what it said. I wonder if that is a copy of a letter Lilian is passing around to some of her friends after a discussion about secure they use to feel with the 44th President, even when sleeping people felt he had their back. That feeling is gone and everyone is suffering from a new Syndrome which manifests in Depression, FEAR, Uncertainty, Anxiety and Panic Attacks. Imagine, even the time on the Doomday Clock was changed. The clock is now the closest it’s been to midnight since the 1950s, with scientists citing “alternative facts” and threat of nuclear arms.

One can feel the the restlessness in the air. People and yes, us animals also have an uneasiness about us which is hard to explain. Like sensing a storm except it is not in physical site yet. A premonition of something and it results in ill-feeling, lack of patience and rudeness. People can’t sleep and act out doring their waking hours some without realizing how it effects everything including nature. Sometimes I wish I could share a little knowledge of the mechanics of the way nature is part of reality for us animals and people most Humans have lost the ability to follow their instinct. Imagine, they are now worried about Robots taking their jobs. I kid you not, I heard it on the News.

I got so sidetracked…here is the letter.

Obama parting letter

Scientists talk about Time-rifts,unfortunately President Trump took down MANY of the websites that are regular information centers for may who have followed such subjects for years. I so hope a list of the total amount and meaning of the new reality we are facing. Maybe next month. I also like to mention that the promised report of the UFO Sighting in Guatemala is not available at this time, still waiting.

Due to Global Warming it is snowing in Afrika. The Sahara is white instead of the reddish gold color the sand usually looks like. Lilian;s Friend Saada from Batna, Algeria shared her new hair dress with her.

Saada new hair dress

Lilian’s Aberional friends living in the NT of Australia send out a call for help. indigenousX

Hi all,
Thank you all so much for your concern and generosity. The response has been overwhelming, and unexpected. I’ve spoken with Sherrie at the Kalumburu Remote Area Health Service and she has requested everybody please refrain from calling with their enquiries. It’s a health clinic and they’re flat out busy, and are being distracted by the telephone calls.

However they are still accepting donations of the items below:

  • Size 0 to 1 babies (as new born babies basically don’t have anything to wear)
  • Underwear of all types
  • Summer kids cs, tops and skirts for older ladies (big sizes only)
  • Men’s shirts, T-shirts and cargo shorts in large or XL
  • Towels, single linen sheets & pillowcases
  • Thongs all sizes (not for toddlers) clothes in all sizes as many only have one change of clothes
  • Large cotton dresses

Kalumburu girl

Here is a wonderful Video which explains what Skin Names actually mean. I know several people who have adopted a Native name, sometimes unauthorized, but maybe it is the changing to other realities some humans need to get through this very hard adjustment time.

Skin Name

The neighborhood cat is on the prowl, I had better move to higher ground. This cat can climb with a speed seldom witnessed. I will Daydream of Spring, a girlfriend perhaps? I will imagine a light at the end of a tunnel…Oh Oh. Here she comes with a mouse in her grip… I guess I am safe…this time…

And So Will You.


Love and Light

Mr McKrekor

Here are a few things of interest:

woman pink silhouette

The Obama Years with Brian Williams

SNL said good bye to PREZ and it is moving

A visit to Mt Rainer in one of Lilian;s shows , something to relax to.

January 2017 Newsletter

January 2017 Newsletter
I am Mr. McKrekor, the offspring of KAR, an early childhood friend of Lilian’s granddaughter Ebony. KAR talked to Ebony starting during an early age, Ebony in turn, was always able to tell her Grandmother what it was KAR wanted to relate. When I decided to hatch on Planet Earth I wanted to stay close to the family my ancestor KAR spend most of his time with. So here I am, like KAR, observing, reporting and interacting with Ebony’s Grandmother Lilian.

In some cultures, we Crows, along with our 40-kin species, are considered messengers. We have the gift of communication amongst ourselves and with people if they are willing to pay attention and listen. I would have preferred to be a Magpie, because in my opinion they are prettier, but it was not meant to be. It is said I am the spitting image of KAR.

I have parked myself on Lilian’s porch at the moment so I can see what she is doing and if lucky can hear what she says when sharing her news.

Today she got in her car, fully loaded with dirty laundry and left. Heard her say she never takes dirty laundry in the new year…Gregoria Calendar I assume… Anyway, she thought her washing machine was too small and she wanted to go and be around 2-Leggers. People, I again assume. So off she went. Not sure if she was aware I followed her, a bit early in our relationship for her to pay attention
to me. BUT she will, she will.

Landed at the Laundry, I guess Lilian had not been here in a while since she commented how clean the place looked and new machines were installed.
It was quiet in the place, present were what appeared to be a homeless man and a woman. How times have changed, usually on the last day of the year everyone is doing laundry, people talk to each other, eager to share resolutions and brag about the presents they got for Christmas. Not so today. Everyone was glued to their electronic devices.

Lilian being Lilian she broke the silence and just started talking. As always people answered. Don’t know how but she always manages to draw people into her world and just talk to her.

Needless to say, people using the Laundromat are not in the 1% of the income level and share some of the same concerns. They were concerned about the upcoming Administration and discussing future possibility of retaliation from Russia. President Obama tightened sanctions and expelled 35 Russians from the US, in order to prove that we were NOT pleased with that countries interference in OUR elections. Outcome was not changed for us but

Lilian commented she doubt it make any difference at this point, the new administration is pretty much in place. She explained what she had “seen” in the Predictions for 2017.

The man asked for some of the sandwich the Lady had, she shared and he was worried about his Social Security benefits. They both thought December 2016 was a turbulent month and had reason to be afraid for our future.
I tried staying out of sight, was worried they would spot me and ask Lilian why she had a Crow with her, well she did not know either. Kind of fun that hide and seek.

The dryer quit and I thought it only took a short time for all the laundry to be done. Lilian’s daughter saw her car parked in the little strip mall where the launderette was located and helped fold the clothes. Off we were again to the next adventure.

I flew ahead this time and stopped to consume some worms that had come to the surface in preparation for the upcoming ice-storm….the whole country is in a dangerous cold spell, they say it is the worse winter since 2008. When I returned to Lilian’s porch and peeped through the window she was on the phone. I nibbled on a peanut I had in my beak for quite a while by then and ease dropped. I was unable to make out the voice on the other end but it must have been a person, female I am guessing, about Lilian’s age since they talked about how things use to be. How their generation thinks RAP is terrible, yet what is now being implied was actually OPENLY sang about when the Baby Boomers were young. I can’t relate, in fact I don’t even think KAR was around than…how time flies and repeats.

This day went by fast, glad to be able to stick my head in my feathers and nod for the night….no…wait I may be missing something… yup and here it is. An E-mail from Virginia about an earlier conversation about feeling out of sorts, not knowing what to do, uncertainties about the new year and all new people at the helm.
Burrowing In
I was in a local store the first week in December and was enthralled with a soft, supple, luxurious throw. I purchased it for Roger the Tall for Christmas. As I am writing this, he is burrowed in that throw, snuggling with the Calico Queen Mabon. Though he is sleeping (I know this because of the soft snores), his body is resting, recharging, and replenishing.

Burrow: noun
1. a hole or tunnel in the ground made by a rabbit, fox, or similar animal for habitation and refuge.
2. a place of retreat; shelter or refuge.

2016 has been/was a tumultuous year. Not just in the United States but across the Earth. Major changes have occurred politically and there have been no small number of natural and manufactured disasters. Economies and lifestyles people thought were secure and impenetrable have been upended and rearranged almost beyond recognition. For many, reality has been rearranged. I was speaking with a dear friend this week and she asked me, “What do you see 2017 being?” What followed was a discussion that lasted close to an hour, wherein we spoke of the overall mood of humankind considering recent events – not just locally or nationally, but globally. I shared with her that I see the year 2017 as being a time of more individual introspection, of drawing closer metaphorically – spiritually – physically – to our own core selves and values.

A time of burrowing in, to better withstand and not just survive but thrive in the months ahead.

A time to strengthen our beliefs.

A time to better define and replenish the bonds of our tribes.

Burrowing in is not to imply hiding, burying one’s head in the sand so to speak. For me, this burrowing in speaks of solidifying and strengthening myself to ride the peaks and valleys of events over which I have no actual control. Reestablishing relationships I have let fall to the wayside, and finally letting go of some people and things that I know are to my detriment. Shoring up my network. Keeping connected to my support system. Maintaining a more consistent sharing of energy and positivity. Keeping grounded by limiting the drains on my time and energy that lull me into a stupor of passivity.

May your tribe be cohesive, may your spirit be replenished, may your refuge be secure.




~Ellen Apple 12/26/2016

Millennials have a chance to see a Generation leave. It is said they are selfish and uncaring… to no fault of their own, rather to the way they were raised…
I am a CROW, it is natural to throw the young out of the nest just as soon as they can fly and fetch for themselves. Humans on the other hand …. OH OH, UFOSIGHTING IN GUATAMALIA, I hope Lilian will talk about THAT when the reports come in. Oh well she just said she has to wait till February Newsletter….. to get back to my story…. Humans on the other hand shelter their young till they are almost middle age it seems. Maybe that is why they not notice that there is a need to start looking at their Elders a bit different. To help when needed, old humans are not able to maneuver like they did when young. The way they could tell is by looking at the slowly wrinkling faces, the bend over and slow walks of their parents and everyone in their community instead of having their faces stuck to their I-Pads and telephones.

There was shock when so many known I-CONS died in 2016. Even the young ones were familiar with them but that generation has come to the end of their lives, a natural occurrence that happens. Be good to them while they are still amongst you. One day your generation has reached the end of your cycle.

David Bowie, Doris Roberts, Chyna, Prince, Kimbo Slice, Gwen Ifill and Leonard Cohen are only some of the notable figures who died this year. Notable figures who died in 2016. It is not what some call an epidemic. It is in divine order. Baby boomers are leaving. In December alone, John Glenn, Alan Thicke, Zsa Zsa Gabor, George Michael, Ricky Slice and Carrie Fisher have died. Her Mother Debbie Reynolds followed her a day later
On the 2nd day of December Lilian was just sitting in her chair, from which she rules her world. She looked out of the window across from where she was sitting and saw a man clinging to the roof of the Apartments across the street. Without thinking about her physical limitations, she jumped up, instinctively and ran across the street to safe the man, call 911 or who knows what she thought she could do. In any event by the time she realized it was NOT a man but a straw-filled Santa hanging from the gutter she had twisted her back rather badly. I yelled at her or crowed at her, she did not pay attention in the middle of her adrenaline rush…. can only yell so loud.
Lilian makes healing stones.
They are Obsidian from a place in Vietnam they call the place In-between the Universe. They say the people, when sick, put themselves in suspension until well and some get to be 120 years old. There the mountain tribe harvests, polishes and paints the rocks. Lilian uses the stones for healing, she programs them somehow…. even she does not know how it works… for the person who need a certain energy for healing and gifts them to the person in need. So it was today. She went to the Post Office to mail a stone to Chicago, the Windy City. It was so cold in Tumwater and when she opened the door to the Post Office a Lady came towards her to hold the door open for her. It was so cold, they looked at each other and growled!

Love and Light
Mr McKrekor
Edited by Roberta Apple
Live feed Eagles

December 2016 Newsletter





How refreshing!  A Dog Show on NBC!  It is so good to actually see something to enjoy on TV, so much violence and bad news. I had written the newsletter so many times in my head last few days but felt like I should wait for something BIG…. there it was…the ending to such a turbulent month.  Crazy as a Dingbat…. actually never knew what a Dingbat is, but I like the way it sounds.


As soon as the news hit of Castro’s death I knew why I had waited. Stories flooded in so here is the first one I got.

Mario Leon




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As a child, I grew up saying that I was a “gusano”, a worm. I was called a worm…at school…by teachers and kids alike. You see, that’s what #FidelCastro and his regime called us, worms. Didn’t matter that you were just a kid. If your family was known to be dissident, you were a gusano. I had the double whammy of my father being a dissident political prisoner. The day our visas to leave the country on one of the last freedom flights of 1967 came through, soldiers busted our front door open and charged into our home in the Parcelacion Moderna neighborhood of Havana, pointing rifles two inches from my Mom and my faces while yelling, “Get out, gusanos! Traitors to the revolution! You leave the country tomorrow! Get out! This house and everything in it now belongs to Fidel and the revolution! Worms!” I was seven fucking years old. Once in exile, for several years, every time I was asked what I was, I would answer “I’m a worm”, not realizing that I was simply being asked where I was from. Of course, I grew out of it. Kids are pretty resilient. They are able to put painful memories in little boxes at back of their brains to be accessed only when necessary. Tonight, that memory was necessary and it came flooding back to me just to remind me if the irony that now…at long last…Fidel Castro, tyrant, despot, murderer, thief, son of a bitch…is now nothing but worm food. May he rot in hell for all eternity. #CubaLibre


My Namesake Lilian Mustelier wrote:


Although born in Cuba, I left when I was five. This did not allow me to form my independent opinion of Castro. It is purely influenced by my family in the way they raised me and the stories I grew up with. In fact, I have fond memories of my childhood in Cuba. They consisted of playing “La Nave se va explotar “ (The ship will explode) with my cousins over a half sunken huge pipe in my grandfather’s backyard, ritually placing red hibiscus over a statue of Jose Marti without any idea as to why, scheming of ways to escape from “the circulo infantil, eating the best strawberry ice-cream sticks from the many side business’s my dad had, “Las Españolas” bringing suitcases of toys and clothes for us (as well as some boring stuff for my parents) and most importantly I never faced hunger. My parents did a phenomenal job ensuring they could provide for my sister and I, despite them suffering. My grandmother was a huge supporter of the revolution and she convinced my grandfather to join. When she realized it did not work, it was too late for my grandfather as he would “morir para la patria”, and stayed behind when she left to the US. Like Hitler, Fidel was quite charming and everyone sided with him initially. The fact that my father and uncle risked their lives and faced jail time (my dad was caught the following day and faced time in prison as a political prisoner) to escape Cuba is self-explanatory of Fidelism. Observing my parent’s fascination with the excessive options in the US, or seeing them proud over a full fridge (my father gets anxious to see an empty fridge and the first thing my mother does when visiting me is checks my fridge), all of us tearing up when hearing the American National Anthem, or when I wanted to buy an organic mattress and needed financial help from my parents, I got the spiel of “you want organic!? in Cuba you had to sleep on hay and that’s organic!”. Most Discussions started with “in Cuba…” Yes, in Cuba you did not have menstrual pads; Yes, you also had to go away to the military; Yes, I will not eat with my eyes anymore because there was no food in Cuba. I get it, that is why you came here to provide us a better life as you did not want my sister and I to end up as Jineteras. My cousins who left a little bit older nonchalantly joked around in a family reunion over the times they mixed brown sugar and water to not go to sleep on an empty stomach. My grandfather forced my late uncle into eating his own vomit when he threw up the food he was forced to eat on his plate. Coming from such an extreme can mold you perhaps in some negative ways. In some positive ways, too, I consider most Cubans very hard working and most come to a new country and are self-made. Having nothing can make you very creative. Castro’s passing was a symbol of a step towards ending the oppression. My mother mentioned to me that as a little girl she dreamed of this day and now that it happened, she feels not happy nor sad. My father was very happy and laments that my grandmother died a few months back and was not able to see this, and I? I look forward to one day returning to a free Cuba and submerging myself in my culture again. I dream that it will regain its title as the “Paris of the Caribbean”. I dream of a tropical paradise infused of arts, music, and culture.


There are so many more comments and letters I received, this is just to give you an idea.


Many years ago, I use to visit a man in a nursing home who told me that when he was young he was a prison guard in a “CAMP” in Arizona.  He explained it was where they kept many of the “Colored” Cubans and continued to explained his duties there. I did not pay too much attention to it till years later the Fidel Castro era entered my reality when choosing a Life Mate. He was born in Santiago, Cuba and was part of the Mariel Boatlift

The Mariel boatlift was a mass emigration of Cubans, who traveled from Cuba’s Mariel Harbor to the United States between 15 April and 31 October 1980. The term “Marielito” (plural “Marielitos”) is used to refer to these refugees in both Spanish and English.

Omar ended up in that “CAMP” that old man had told me about and it was not until someone “sponsored” him by paying $5,000 for him he was able to freely set foot on our soil.  He always said the woman bought him. I wrote about it in detail in my first book.  Fidel Castro, like so many other people, places and things had entered my life reality also. I saw and felt the scars from the beatings, looked like he just escaped from a slave ship.  I think that was the part of his body I cherished most, it told the story of such a hard life in Cuba.

I will post a copy of the book at the end of the newsletter.


Capitol Lake is a 3-kilometer-long, 260-acre (1.1 km2) artificial lake at the mouth of Deschutes River in Tumwater/OlympiaWashington….Surface area, 260 acres (1.1 km2). On the 23rd of November People in Olympia held their yearly HANDS AROUND THE LAKE Event.  This is what it looks like. Imagine, so many people with the same peaceful intention around the lake holding hands…. I am using the picture under the fair use act because I lost my correspondence with the owner of the picture.  I was gifted a Cellphone for my 69th Birthday on the 5th, needless to say the phone is so much smarter than me….

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Several days prior to this event protesters managed to stop a train carrying Fracking Equipment by sitting on the railroad tracks.


At Standing Rock, the people were not so lucky, there were Chemicals sprayed on them twice and a woman possibly lost her arm due to an injury.  Originally it was thought she had been hit by bullets by Law Enforcement but upon further examination it was determined and corrected that she was hurt by a homemade device someone posing as a supporter had set off.  There are many Indigenous people from many country taking a stand, many demonstrations everywhere with people from all walks of life.  War dances are being performed my several Native people from around the world and LIVE FEEDS are posted to my Facebook page daily.  Orders and deadlines change daily, as of today, it looks like December 6th will be a critical day.  Orders were given to vacate but that is not likely. The world is supporting the plight of the people for clean water.


For the last 21 years, I have made Predictions for the United States.  So I did for 2017.  It disturbed me greatly because it dealt mostly with the aftermath of the US Elections. The only thing stat stood out was the fact we should watch the trains.  Since October 15th, the day of the taping of the show 5 trains have been in accidents.  That makes it 5 in 5 weeks. India, Iran and the US.  I actually used this as a maker of accuracy and here is why.  I did NOT see Mrs. Clinton in the White House.  It was a man and NOT Mr. Trump.  I stand by that even now that Mr. Trump is President elect.

As soon as early voting started I received several of these reports.

WARNING WARNING WARNING WARNING Went to vote and hit the button for Hillary Clinton but the machine automatically put the check mark for Trump. You have to take the pen that is attached to the machine and uncheck Trump and redo your vote for Hillary. Can you imagine how many people are not paying any attention to what the machine is doing. PLEASE SHARE! URGENT!

I had mentioned in the Predictions that it looked similar to the events of 2000. Bush verses Gore.  Gore won but Bush became President.


Here is a rough overview what was in the predictions, to the point where I explained at the beginning how disturbing they were.




Loss of jobs.


Losing ground and finding balance


We are in a box.


We have to postpone many things for superficial ones before finding our footing.


False expectations….one big belly ache.  IF the right choice will be made we can overcome our difficulties.


Dissolution. Mirages and distorted thinking.  Lack of communications.


Do not justify yourself by past achievements and don’t become a Hero.


Do not get carried away by passion and greed.


REPAIR the EARTH since you are making wrong decisions.


False prophets and empty promises.


Since the Election Hate crimes have increased by severity and high percentage, even in grade schools.  The country is so divided, friendships have suffered and it is restless.  Europe is concerned, all this is more worrisome than Earthquakes

Storms and flooding.  Some of us don’t want to watch TV it almost doubles as a mind machine and keeps you in turmoil constantly.

Brexit was not overturned, Europe is nervous.  Everyone feels it is necessary to take sides, a dangerous scenario.


In case you thought I close this newsletter with a wonderful story you were wrong.  So here it goes.


All my adult life I have talked about me climbing the Stein Kopf… a gigantic rock formation in Wiesbaden-Dotzheim Germany, a place where I spend a few years growing up.  It was as tall as the Alps to me at age 7-8-9.  Climbing it earned me many beatings because it was dangerous to climb.  When I was 65 I discovered my Black Rock is actually a giant Crystal of which only 2 are in existence in the world.  Here is a cross cut of it and this is what it looks like when cut.

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I have a FB Friend, Samuel Schmid, in Switzerland.  He surprised me by traveling from Switzerland to Germany… (432.2 km) – 268.6 miles to take a picture of Stein Kopf for me.

It was such a loving thing to do, I cried. He said some of the Locals did not know about it anymore since it had grown vegetation over it in the 6o+ years I had snuck out of the house to run and conquer the MOUNTAIN so far above the village.



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Our Community Dinner went well and we are working on X-mas dinner for all on the 17th.  This year we are lacking toys, the donations we usually receive never materialized and that is sad. I am sure we will think of something. UNIVERSE, this would be a good time to stop the rain for a minute and shower us with toys for the children that don’t have any and depend on us.


CNN is running a series about the 60’s-70’s and 80’s.  Take a look and remember how crazy life was once.  Each generation imagines it was NEVER that bad…. think again but I must say we never has President Trump before…..imagine what that will look like 30 years from now.  I had dinner with my international Family and one of the great grand kids had never seen me with curly hair.  I spoke to her and she said: “I don’t speak that language”. I said: “It’s me— your Tick Tack OMI.”  She said: “Oh yeah, but you talk funny all the time” and walked away.


Love and Light


Edited by Roberta Apple


This is a show about Barb’s and Friends Community Dinner a few years back:


This is my book And the Moral of the Story is: One Person at a time.  It is written the way I talk.  Feel free to give it for gifts.



Little Havana in Miami, FL after Castro’s Death Announcement.



With permission TePuia-Rotorua, NZ


Report from Standing Rock

with permission



November 2016 Newsletter




Just as I was taking in one of the prettiest sunsets I have seen in a long time, if ever, my granddaughter Ebony gifted us with these amazing pictures she took on her way home from work.  She lives about 50 miles North of me, so I can tell the beauty of the evening stretched over many miles.

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I could see, from my window, how the sky was golden, a pinch of pink ever so often, but mostly golden brown like golden crisp fried Yukon Potatoes.  A sense of “GREATFUL” came over me as I pulled up the last few weeks in my mind.  There was Hurricane Matthew fresh in my mind.  It was a terrible storm and somehow I became a “HUB” if you will, for the friends on the East Coast.  When training for Earthquakes one of the things being instilled in you is to pick ONE person away from the area affected for a contact so you won’t unnecessarily tie up telephone lines.  Your contact person will act as a dispatcher, make calls to friends and relatives (Predetermined by you), keeps you informed as to instructions from Weather Services etc.  Well, I was IT.  I was up and on the phone for 23 hours and was so very grateful to find out EVERYONE had survived the storm, from Cuba to North Carolina. To remind you what this monster looked like, here is Matthew…. which BTW was in my predictions for 2016…. and what that looked like.

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Last count put the Death Toll at 1384.


I still was recovering from the countless hours of communication with the friends and family affected by the category 5 storm when the next threat entered our reality.  Some of us thought it was amazing that it took a disaster of this magnitude to occupy the airwaves rather than the elections and as if on Que came the Super Typhoon, it headed right for the Pacific North West.  Most trees had not shed leaves and we were NOT ready for a storm that early in the year.  So, we did what we always do, got ready to tackle the monster and we were not willing to kiss our butt’s good bye.  Visual here…..

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The storm rolled in in 3 parts.  Thursday, Friday and Saturday, the strongest part on Saturday.


Guess we fared better than anyone expected, somehow the storm split and as far as I know the Death Toll was 0.  ZERO!


Living in a Mobile Home I felt it was safer for me to leave home and spent THURSDAY Night at my daughters.  For the Main Event on Saturday I had chosen my In-law Gloria’s house, she has NO trees. So, let me tell you about an experience I had on FRIDAY NIGHT, the night with the least amount of wind.  I stayed home and roughed it through the numerous, struggling trees surrounding my house. I have a cat and I thought she may appreciate some human company…. she did.


When I got home, there was no power within 4 miles.  I am FULLY operational without power… alternative battery operated lights all through the house, wood stove, old fashion Coffee Peculator and a 2-way Solar-hand-crank Emergency radio. Cellphones do not work in my house.  I did have a Kindle with a battery life of 12 hours. I decided to have some background noise to override the sound of the wind and thought I would have my Kindle read to me for a while.  It read an article I wrote in 2001 about the relationship our heart has to us, it sounded so interesting, to the point that I was in awe that I had been able to write something so profound.  Next it read the newsletter from November 2008, the one that talked about the Electing of President Barack Obama.  I thought how interesting since at that time a large portion of the Country was afraid claiming HE was the Anti-Christ and very unhappy.  Many similarities in an odd way, I remember thinking.

Next it read about my 2 week visit to Thomas Banyacya and his family in Kykotsmovi on the Hopi Reservation in 1996.  With his permission, I was able to share some of the things we talked about during that visit.  By then I wondered how come the articles the Kindle read were all from different books….. Number 10 will be posted online January 1st 2017….. Again, Kindle went to a different subject in which it talked about Bob White, his UFO OBJECT and the similarity in shape of the object to a time-line map shaped the same way as the object. The time-line is called a TOW-SANG and is located in a book called the OAHSPE, book of prophecies and guidebook to the spiritual life, I acquired in the early 1990’s. The original was published in 1882 and I have a First Edition.  The Kindle went dark and stopped reading. My daughter got concerned about me at one point and came to check on me.  It was at THAT time we discovered Kindle had a full battery and there was no earthly reason to have stopped reading.


The Storm was over, lots of destruction on both coasts, business as usual, the hoopla with the elections continued.  Can only imagine what people will say reading this 50 years from now.  Not EVER BEFORE and hopefully NEVER AGAIN will America have to endure anything even close to it when electing a new President.


The newly built African American Museum was opened; the reviews are outstanding.  It is my understanding it has so many visitors that it is hard to absorb all the information available there, so I went online to see what else I could find on the subject.  So here is a list of the places you can educate yourself.


This is an interactive journey you can take, I found it very enjoyable to take a look sitting in my chair at home in my living room.   interactive.



The Continents continue to drift and the planet is in an evolutionary spurt.



Reports came out that some of the land had been returned to the Aboriginal People of the Northern Territories in Australia only to have conflicting statements emerge a few days later.  What is new in my opinion that some of our Natives and Australian Natives are comparing their plights, issues and emotions through Social Media, especially now, that situations have been escalating again at Standing Rock ND.





This site goes live when anything of importance takes place and I think it is wonderful for some on the ground to keep the world posted, sometimes under trying circumstances.

Federal charges against TV HOST AMI GOODMAN have been dropped and it is sad that some of us have to take such drastic chances to report what is happening in the world.


This October was the 50th anniversary of the founding of the Black Panthers of which several are still incarcerated.  In contrast the KKK is still on the loose.



We lost our friend Eric Williams rather suddenly. We were conversing about an upcoming show we planned doing together.  Many were in shock of the news.

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I have chosen to leave a link to his web page on my website, he had such wonderful plans for the future and a great perspective on life.


The clean-up from the storm was done, things pretty much back to normal.  I got an article from one of my Native News outlets in which they talked about Thomas Banyacya and the Hopi Prophesy he delivered to the United Nations.  I thought that was odd since I just had that strange experience during the storm.  This is Thomas, I am using the picture under the Fair Use Act, my personal things were destroyed in the Earthquake.  In fact, I am not sure if I even had a picture of him since it is forbidden to take pictures on the Hopi Reservation.  A big sign is posted telling you your equipment will be confiscated.

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I will attach his speech at the end of the newsletter for you in its entirety.


I thought it was weird that I had bumped into the same thing so soon and thought maybe I would try again to access my old Myspace account.  I was never able to get in after Justin Timberlake bought it but to my surprise I got right in.  Everything had been removed except 2 of my shows and an article I wrote about Bob White’s object and the Tow-Sang. I am now of the opinion that that the ‘Malfunction” of the Kindle was no accident.  I checked the planetary alignments and everything was identical to the alignments of the 2008 elections with the exception that Mars was absent.  WELL, it no longer is. Mars is present. No matter what I do I am unable to decipher what it is I am supposed to know about this, I guess we have to wait and see.


People are rude, moody, non-forgiving at the moment.  There are massive Solar Flares and Geomagnetic Storms affecting many. People are at their wits ends and seeking answers.  7 (SEVEN) more days and we will have elected a new leader, at least we hope and then the challenges will really begin.  The prediction show is at the end of the newsletter, I have reviewed it several times since it aired and I am sticking with what I said, does not look like anything was changed since the taping on October 15th 2016.


When the Kindle read the Newsletter about the 2008 elections the predictions were VERY similar.  Keep in mind they were done 8 months prior to January 2009 and the country was still in collapse and free-fall. It took President Obama 8 years to correct some things and I would like to tell you to PLEASE get ready for a wild ride…to put it mildly… we are in for a rough time, regardless as who gets elected.


Show love for one another, stick close to your families and enjoy each minute of your surroundings, your blessings and your life.  Be kind to one another and help heal the Earth – she is hurting.


Love and Light



Edited by Roberta Apple


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This is the total transcript of the address to the United Nations by Thomas Banyacya




Fair Use Act invoked on the following article.

Hopi Prophesy as told by Indiancountrytodaymedianetwork.

The first sign said the white-skinned men would come, the second said: “Our lands will see the coming of spinning wheels filled with voices. In his youth, my father saw this prophecy come true with his eyes—the white men bringing their families in wagons across the prairies.”

The rest of the signs are typically listed as follows:

“This is the Third Sign: A strange beast like a buffalo but with great long horns, will overrun the land in large numbers. These White Feather saw with his eyes—the coming of the white men’s cattle.”

“This is the Fourth Sign: The land will be crossed by snakes of iron.”

“This is the Fifth Sign: The land shall be criss-crossed by a giant spider’s web.”

“This is the Sixth Sign: The land shall be criss-crossed with rivers of stone that make pictures in the sun.”

“This is the Seventh Sign: You will hear of the sea turning black, and many living things dying because of it.”

“This is the Eighth Sign: You will see many youth, who wear their hair long like my people, come and join the tribal nations, to learn their ways and wisdom.

“And this is the Ninth and Last Sign: You will hear of a dwelling-place in the heavens, above the earth, that shall fall with a great crash. It will appear as a blue star. Very soon after this, the ceremonies of my people will cease.”

Read more at…/apocalypse-prop…
Apocalypse Prophecies: Native End of the World Teachings
With the supposed Mayan apocalypse upon us, here is a look at other Native American end of the world teachings across history and today.
Predictions 2017

October 2016 Newsletter


Do you ever just sit and do nothing? If someone asks you: “what are you thinking about?” you say: “Nothing”. Well, I am not able to ever think of NOTHING. So it was the other day, while trying to think nothing, it occurred to me that we actually all start with an egg. AN EGG. The female ovary ejects an EGG, it gets fertilized and here we are! Unlike other creatures who know what to do in a couple of days we, as helpless newcomers to the World, have to be raised, nurtured, and taught how to maneuver. I wondered how we got from egg to having a lifetime of struggles, often self-imposed.

I saw this picture of this beautiful snake, which has between 6 and 100 eggs and from those offspring, thought back on my thought about starting with an egg and the wisdom of her offspring to slither away. Even though some species have live birth, they still start independent and meet the world head on by themselves. Imagine having to raise that many offspring and turning them into productive inhabitants.

End of thoughts about NOTHING.

Snake2 Snake1
Just for you DO NOT SHARE because of Copyrights
I am invoking Fair Use Act
So this is what took place in our reality in the month of September. If it sounds a lot like August, it is. The News talks about the same thing over and over and over. Elections and Police brutality, killings and Terrorism. I will bring you up to speed by making you aware of some new things which were overlooked or sparsely reported by many of Mainstream Media.

A Rocket exploded BEFORE takeoff on September 1st. It was said it was Cargo and supplies for the Space Station. What was unusual about this event was that there was evidence of an outside source causing the explosion. Different people had different opinions and explanations but, whatever it was, it was in a true sense an Unidentified Flying Object, visible on Pictures.


MSNBC aired Global Citizen Concert live, it was wonderful to see the performances that were possible with the changing of the channel, away from the rest of the by now, daily crap. They truly promoted GLOBAL Unity of people. The Millennials are ALL colors. If you click here you can listen to the concert while reading the newsletter…..I am accidently getting smarter every month…. If this is a distraction for you, I will also put it at the end of the Newsletter.

The Australian Government is attempting to take over Land Rights in several territories belonging to Aboriginal Tribes. Our friends in the NT (Northern Territories) have been keeping us informed. This should be of international interest, especially now that the events at Standing Rock have been brought to the forefront. This was because of WWII. Now it is because some have chosen to be so hateful, instead of becoming ONE PEOPLE we are being divided…more controllable I guess….. since we need to be controlled in some’s mind…. BUT we have choice…

We still have live feeds from Standing Rock. Our NW TRIBES have joined the protests. They did what they called Paddle to ND (North Dakota) and took their canoes to the rivers and joined the gathering of most of our indigenous tribes. When a Washington State Judge ruled to continue with the Pipeline within 10 minutes our President Obama stepped in and halted the construction on Native Lands, for further review by Government agencies. We hope the new administration will not over rule that decision, For the time being the construction has stopped and our Native Tribes are staying put for what will be a very cold winter in the plains.

Tribes Gathered at Standing Rock ND

People created a Go Fund Me Page for a street vender and raised $384.000 so he could retire and has the chance to enjoy his life a little longer without having to push a cart in front of him. There are so many wonderful people in the world if we just allow ourselves to SEE them.

My youngest Grandson said he would be willing to visit and wrap my X-Mas gifts. I am on a fixed income so I buy 2 items per month to keep up with the volume of presents necessary to accommodate all Great Grandkids and finish with my shopping. I was excited at the thought of getting help with this chore. Unfortunately, I had no holiday wrapping paper. I went to Dollar Tree and right next to the front door were unopened boxes of a shipment of….you guessed it… X-Mas wrapping paper. ON SEPTEMBER 12th!

On the last days of sunshine and warm weather in the Pacific North West I saw a man with a spare pair of pants wrapped around his shoulders, a man without a shirt and 3 people riding around a parking lot in a Convertible.

Greenland’s Icecaps are melting much faster than expected. Someone said it would raise the sea-level by 23 feet. Here is the link which shows how this is measured and what it entails.

Police killings are continuing, Marches are still going on in several cities, in fact in North Carolina there were riots reported at one time.

In Olympia WA we had a walk for suicide Prevention and Gun Rights on the same day. One of my grandsons was visiting and we had planned to go and see a movie. I decided against it and told him what it was like when I was young in Europe. At times we flipped a coin to see where we went shopping since something was always blowing up. We went for strolls in the woods and found left over bombs and rockets. We had to report them so they could be dismantled. It was always in the back of your mind and you developed an instinct for danger. No Movie for us. Later on that day a man shot 5 people in a Mall in Burlington WA. 126.3 miles North of Olympia. Later I remembered that my friend in Virginia, Roger, a fellow psychic, had warned me to tell my family to stay away from the Malls because he had strong premonitions about possible danger.

Lighter Leash
We stopped to buy a Lighter Leash. It is secured at the belt and hangs. This way the lighter is always there and cannot accidentally get away from you. I had a long talk with my Grandson as to make sure not to even touch it in any perimeter of a Police Officer so it could not be mistaken for a weapon… I reminded him he was black. Makes me sick to even have to think and talk like that in 2016.

International News reported that Mr. Trump had secured several financial German backers for his presidential campaign. It is illegal to do so, however it was maneuvered in around about way through his Family and their business dealings/holdings.

2016 book cover
Mr. Trump’s Immigration speech was something to ponder, not so much WHAT he said, it was HOW he said it. It actually moved me to create the book-cover for the End of the year 2016 book, which will be posted January 2017.

So back to that thought of the egg we came from…. in my younger days while working with Musicians I did not notice… but looking back at that every one of them were Futurists. We all must have been hatched somewhere else. I realized it when I ran into an old song by Roger and ZAPP from 1984…repeat 1984. COMPUTER LOVE….

The weekend my grandson wrapped the X-Mas present we ran errands early in the day.
Leaving the last location, I commented that we were on our way like a herd of
turtles. He thought that was funny since he had never heard that before. I explained what it meant and reminded him I often talk in riddles or sayings like my Mother did before me. He thought that was the funniest thing he heard and laugh. When he was finished wrapping 11 boxes I said: “That was a big baby” …. He looked puzzled and I ask him if he knew where babies came from. He shook his head no. Oh well, could not use that saying…. he retreated to his room, when he came out he said: “ You were right…that was a big Baby… I GOOGLED IT!”

Love and Light
Edited by Roberta Apple

This is a new song by my friend RON MABON. Published on Sep 3, 2016

This is the complete Global Citizen concert

ZAPP Computer Love

This is a documentation of the Paddle to Standing Rock and the link goes LIVE when there is any new movement paddle to Standing rock

September 2016 Newsletter

September Newsletter

Unable to make up my mind what to watch, I had my choice between opening Ceremony in Rio de Janeiro and 130 Canoe Families from our Native neighbors, I decided on both. One on TV and one on my old PC. Canoe Journey was in the 7th day of celebrating with dance and song, and simultaneously I recognized so many cultures in the endless parade of Countries from around the world, how colorful, all in unison, right before the competitions got on the way. …North Korea had 2 Athletes there.
I remembered 2 of my friends who had both, in past years, won Gold Medals in Hurtles Willy Davenport for the USA and Charles Benjamin for Guyana. Luckily Ancient Aliens played repeats or I would have had to split myself 3 ways.
The next several days were filled with competitive excitement.

On the other hand, there was the celebrating of our Native neighbors. How peaceful and happy everyone looks, I suppose this large Human Family was tired and yet I sensed an appreciation and togetherness, after all look what they accomplished.
The athletes trained and traveled for celebration of the Salish Nations, paddled for DAYS, learned songs while on the journey and celebrate UNITY and togetherness. One could see the pride in EVERYONES face, my TV Screen and the PC. On the 7the day I decided to go to Nisqually in person to experience the Unity of the people and here is my report.
What I have witnessed
For 7 days I had the opportunity, AT WILL, to enter a different reality away from the
elections and the hateful, bigotry ridden times which have become our everyday life.
Television is full of killings, in fighting and bad news. This energy gets into your
hair, your clothes, your consciousness, your dreams and your soul.
For 7 days I was privileged to have the opportunity to turn on my computer and
watch…live… the celebrations taking place on the Nisqually Reservation. The canoe
families arrived in Olympia, WA on a Saturday. They were tired and hungry from
paddling such great distances. It was a total of 130 families which had made the
journey. They came from as far away as Hawaii, Alaska, Utah and New York.

firstCanoes Map
For 7 days one had the chance to forget about the world and all the problems, watching
dances, listen to stories. The dancing on day 6 lasted until 5 AM.
On the 7th day I decided to go to Nisqually to thank them, in person, for allowing me to
share a live link to the festivities to the friends around the world. Links went to
Switzerland, Austria, Tibet, Nepal, Germany, Algeria, Sweden, Denmark, England and
Australia. It appeared so many of us from around the world stepped back from every
day life and participated in the same goings-on.
I drove the 24 miles to Nisqually wondering if I could find a parking space etc., you
know the usual anxiety which comes with going to an unfamiliar place. I had been there
many times before but not in several years and so many changes took place. A new
tribal center sprung up, everything looked different and I thought for sure I would get lost.
NOT SO. There were signs to point me in the right direction. I parked next to a
portable ATM Truck which was in plain sight. I walked across the street into an area with many vendors who had come from every tribe on the West Coast. Some I recognized from the yearly Pow Wows I attend each spring. The Navajo friends were selling fry bread like at all the events I had ever been to and it was good to see them.
There were trailers with Washers and Dryers, trailers with showers, Bathrooms for
Elders in convenient places and Honey Buckets in multiple locations. Hydration Stations
and trashcans that were constantly maintained. I saw NO trash on the ground
ANYWHERE. A little girl dropped her cup and picked it up without the mother
directing her to do so.
I was driven in a cart-type vehicle everywhere I wanted to go. I was informed as to
where everything was. Multiple food-tents. I talked to the volunteer firefighters from
Lacey Station # 3. I visited with them for a while and boasted about my son, who had
been a volunteer at that station for many years to the point I often wondered why he even had an apartment. He was there all the time. The young men talked about their families and the nice weather we are having.
I stopped at the portable Tribal Police Station and talked about the affairs of the world
and the dilemma we are confronted with the terrible drug problems affecting so many.
I had a Hoodie made for a relative’s birthday and conversed with a woman at the vender
booth about her travels year-around to events.
I was able to thank the Camera Operator for filming the event, he had been there for 11
hours just today, he said he was too tired to remember the total hours he had sat in the
booth which resembled a tree-house more than a control room.
I was able to talk to the announcer and thank him for his hard work and provided him
with a list of the countries in which the FBF reside and was able to watch live right
along with the people present.
My intent was to get back to my car and go home but was instructed to go to the Elders
Food Tent and eat. I did and the food was wonderful I had roasted potatoes, roast,
carrots, Salmon and Fry Bread. The man dishing out the food said one of the pleasures
he had was to see everyone with a full belly.
A close look at a canoe made me realize what a hard trip it must be to master the open
sea like that. Some have children on board and I am just in awe how such a task can be

A Drone flew overhead, the first time I saw one in action.
It was such a wonderful experience; due to my age I doubt I am able to repeat it so close
to home and I shall remember the 2 eagles following me for a bit on my way home.
Almost 2 AM on the 8th day, things are winding down, Elders are still sitting in the
audience that time of the night, Potlach gifts are being handed out to everyone still
present. I got a T -Shirt to commemorate I had been there as I departed.
Sad it has come to an end, When I get overwhelmed with the world I think I will try to
reconstruct my experience by watching clips on YouTube…. I don’t think nothing will
ever compare to actually having been there in person.
I am here to tell you I have witnessed many things that, at this moment in time, is

A visit to the doctor was in order so I made the 60-mile round trip. The smell of Autumn was absent but I could see Fall has come already at the end of August. Trees in brilliant colors and the leaves have started to fall. I thought about how lucky we were in the Great North West having had such a wonderful Summer, it seems like the rest if the world never got a break from weather and natural disasters at all this year.

A hate crime had been committed in Tenino, WA about 6 miles from my house. Someone had damaged a house and car of an Afro American Family. They were not at home at the time so about 50 people got together and cleaned up the mess as not to frighten them too much. A local car dealership either fixed or replaced the car, not sure which one. I was very glad to hear that. I know what THAT feels like. In the 60’s the O’Neill residence and my house were damaged in that fashion and there was NOONE to help, so I would say things are the same but some of the people have changed and are trying to make a difference. I drive the same stretch of highway once a month and this time there were 6 houses along 507 flying Confederate flags.

Stopped at Scotty B’s. The 5o’s Diner to sit and have a $5.99 Burger, Fries and a coffee. There was a new plaque on the wall, it read:
Thanks for coming in. We feature warm Beer, cold food, poor service, take it or leave it. Drink Coffee, do stupid things faster with more energy. Eat here and get gas.

A train was parked on the tracks, 127 cars filled with OIL just sitting there. A scary sight, especially since so many have exploded lately and there is talk of a movement on the way to stop Oil Trains and Nuclear Waste from traveling through and stopping in small towns.

Wyoming had fracking caused earthquakes. Philippines and Italy lost many to their earthquakes, not to forget Myanmar.

Terrible floods in Louisiana, more than 2000 people had to be rescued.

Milwaukee had riots because of more killings by police.

Wildfire in Washington, California and Oregon. So many people are homeless and in need of our help. Some lost their lives.

Tornadoes in Indiana and now we already have hurricanes on the way.

The US Supreme Court ruled that many executions in 2009 were unconstitutional.

Native American Pipeline Protest Halts Construction in N. Dakota

Mr. Trump has upset many people greatly with his hateful rhetoric. It was interesting to discover someone had taken the time to create and deposit 5 larger than life statues
of him around major cities. Los Angeles, Seattle, Cleveland, New York and San Francisco.

I am sure this, as much as Mr. Trump tried to ignore this, will remain in our history books. It is therefore in order for me to make sure it will be preserved. Not EVER in an election was a candidate immortalized in the fashion and maybe never will be again.


Kananshibushan had her yearly Family Reunion in Roslyn WA and again I was unable to attend. The 300-mile trip there, crossing the Cascade Mountains, would have been a bit much for me since my health has not been the best.
Renate Strang on one of her outings with Joshi, the dog, captured the following. Tammie Bauer in 2003 actually took a 20-minute video of same set up,
we called it Moon and BoB, so did Haktan Akdoğan’, Director of the UFO Museum in Istanbul, Turkey.

Foto Renate Strang GERMANY
Fotografiert am 21.07.2016 gegen 22.45 Uhr, Himmelrichtung Süden.

Twin Moons
Foto Kathryn Grandfield MISSOURI
I spend a weekend at my granddaughters house on Hood Canal about 60 miles north.

Ebonie Sound

As I was sitting on her deck enjoying the breeze of the water in 99-degree weather I thought about how lucky my Great Grand kids are. They played like children. They made mud pies, splashed in the water, got dirty and tried to dig for worms and other critters. They got excited about licorice and not once were they in need of electronic devices to have good old fun. Two eagles’ nests were close by and the baby birds were learning how to fly.


My drive home was hectic, my fellow travelers on the highway paid no attention to signs, speed or anyone on the road other than themselves. I stopped at the Kamiche
Trading Post and just sat to compose myself.

Needless to say it was one of stranger months I had experienced in a good while. Planets were realigning and Mercury went retro. What I discovered is that it was a long month and after reading a survey I thought was political, but NOT, no bathroom issues for me because OMG I am A-Sexual

Love and Light

edited by Roberta Apple



My daughter, Vanya Kamaria Arnold took her own life and became an angel on April 30, 2015. September 15th, 1993 was her birthday. This year I would like to begin an annual event. A balloon release. Vanya would love to know that people around the world would do this for her. On her birthday please write a message to my angel and release it. If possible take a picture, share your location and share as a comment. I will in turn create a slide show with all of the locations and places that people have had her in thought. This balloon release will be for her birthday. I received a message Thank you to Roberta Ellen Smith Apple. I think she said it best “Vanya was an effervescent, engaging young soul who carried light and joy into every life she encountered. Michelle wishes to honor her with an annual balloon release on her birthday. I think it would be wonderful if people all over the world, all races, creeds, religions, and nationalities, could come together on one day a year and honor these young lives, and support their families and friends. We all talk about making a difference, paying it forward, spreading love not hate … I frequently end Facebook posts with the tagline “I have a vision of Earth, healed …” This is a real way we can show support of others, and honor those lost. Will you join us? Addendum: Due to the possibility of negative environmental impact from Mylar balloons, alternatives would be Bubbles (have a party celebrating life!), planting a bush, tree, or perennial flower and commemorating with a photo that can be shared, or lighting a candle and having a short, private time of reflection.” The full message includes many who have lost children. You can see them in the comments. Please do the honor of sharing so that the word is out and many can participate even if you are unable.

Here is the link to the Canoe journey of 2016

Autumn in Germany is a show where we take you to Germany and share Fall

August 2016 Newsletter

August Newsletter

While a part of the Country TRUMPERED away and spent days cheering MANIACY words… (Please note, I make up words because I am descriptive), the rest of the Country went through many changes and dilemmas.

The Pope sounded like we were acknowledging the coming of Word War 3.

Some conducted ceremonies for healing people and mostly the Planet.

Others has Mass Meditations for wisdom and peace for the world and our troubled minds.

Still others prayed as they have for 2000 plus years for the world to end.

Both Political Parties had their Conventions and with that I spent the time to listen to ALL 204 speeches given between the two so I could form a neutral position. I have never seen the 2 parties so far apart. GOP was hateful promoting fear, just terrible. Democrats on the other hand promoted togetherness and Patriotism. I watched Bernie Sanders, Bill Clinton and President Obama tear up.

I asked on my Facebook what Mr. Trump would do, IF elected, and he finds out he has to actually spent 4 years LIVING at the White House with handlers telling him what to do. You guessed it, no one answered me.

Some thought Mr. Trump should be charged with treason and the world continues to watch how we decide to run our country.

On the 20th day of this turbulent month of July I filmed the update to the predictions for 2016.Many glitches came with that to the point I thought maybe I was not even supposed to air or post what I was looking at. With the help of my director Tom Patten and Camera Operator Heather Evenson we pulled it off…. on July 29th. It appears that I was alluding to the Wikileak documents and the treasonous behavior of Mr. Trump. THAT happened within a couple of days after the show was filmed. As I spent endless hours at the studio I noticed a group of locals talking. I said hello to them and they reminded me that I saw “BIRDS” on the October predictions. I had, at that time, explained that my BIRDS turned out to be the Planes at September 11. The group pointed out to me that a coup had happened in the Middle East. They thought TURKEYS are BIRDS also and I had indeed “Seen” that coming……

Let’s see where were we….. oh yeah….. England voted to leave the EU and with THAT a lot of people lost a lot of money besides some sleep due to that reckless endeavor.

GRAY Chemtrails appeared about that time and I wondered if THAT has something to do with everyone one losing their mind and behaving like they moved into the Twilight Zone.

Some of our Vintage Gameshow have made their way back into our TV’s. Match Game, Pyramid and Family Feud. It feels wonderful to, for a little while, to step into a time past when we only had to worry about the cold war and were taught to cover and roll in case the Russians were coming. For those of you too young to remember that time period cover and roll was supposed to protect us from a nuclear attack.

My friend Jusby the Clown appeared on my page and the picture summarized where we were at that moment and beyond.


On one of my visits to Trader Joe’s I found a card on my windshield it read:


I was actually angry that someone felt bold enough to do that in broad daylight.

My car brings people’s attention to the Crop Circle Connector and the UFO HOTLINE, which is actually hooked into the Emergency System in some places

Old red 1996 Toyota
Old red 1996 Toyota

A VERY offensive picture of President Obama made the rounds on FB and the internet in General. It upset me greatly, I intended to build the newsletter around that BUT it ah vanished from the internet. I am NOT willing to let that go so here is the original that was photo-shopped replacing the Kneeling man with OUR President and pass, in Cyberspace, around during the GOP Convention. To give you a visual here is the ORIGIONAL VERSION and can picture how bad it was.

13883809_10207823970814698_1609744892_nBernie Worrell from the Funkadelics left us in July, what a joy it was to work with him and it reminded us of our own mortality.

Some of the friends lost Loved Ones to drugs. Robert Magel was the nephew of Tammi Bauer. My friend Sue permitted me to post her daughters obituary here for you, see if that does not impact anyone. HEROIN is a Terrible Drug.

13900748_10207823986815098_343735941_nMarch 12, 1983 – July 15, 2016 Angelina Marie Hillaire was born to Susan M. Hillaire and James R. Hillaire Jr on March 12, 1983. Angelina grew to be an accomplished traditional dancer, as our family followed the Pow-Wow Trail. Angelina also became the Pow-Wow Princess two consecutive years for the Kla-How-Ya days Pow-Wow. She loved to spend time and recreate with her friends and family. She loved her grandparents and loved visiting them also. Angelina was taken from us on the morning of July 15, 2016. Way too soon we all say, but it has come to pass. She is survived by her spouse, Jason O’Day; children, Thomas Williams, Kiersten Williams, Andrew (Bubbie) Comenote, Anela Hillaire, Alamea Comenote, Kayleena Comenote, and Jason David Lee James O’Day; parents, Susan M. Hillaire and Jim R. Hillaire JR.; grandparents maternal, Dolores V. Hatch, paternal James (Smitty) Hillaire Sr. and Luttie Hillaire; siblings, Roxanne Jack, Jamesina Hillaire, Kaylela (Jack) Grayson, Anitra Hillaire, and James Hillaire III; nieces and nephews, Jeffery Jack, Rocio Hatch, Roberto Jack, Jazzy Jack, Gizelle Bill, Angus Grayson, Palani Hillaire, Makaio Hillaire, Addie Hillaire and James R. Hillaire IV; many uncles, aunts, cousins and friends. Proceeded in death by, maternal grandpa, Clarence H. Hatch Sr. and Margret E. Pierre; maternal uncles, Bryon J. Fryberg, Leroy M. Fryberg and Myron Fryberg. paternal uncles, Tim Hillaire and Tony George; brother, James Owen Jefferys. Visitation will be held on Wednesday, July 20, 2016, from 1-2 p.m. at Schaefer-Shipman Funeral Home. Interfaith service will be at 6 p.m. on July 20, 2016, at the Tulalip Tribal Gym. Funeral services will be July 21, 2016, at 10 a.m. at the Tulalip Tribal Gym with burial to follow at Mission Beach Cemetery.


Shared from the Facebook page of my sister from another mother, Lilian Mustelier – whose constancy and care in my life, and Roger’s, has been a lagniappe from Universe in ways I cannot express.

introvertShots fired in the night, and at least one life lost. News from my region this morning … and once more, random acts of violence (seem to) trump random acts of kindness. So the call goes forth, from a muted voice in an empty room, echoing across the barren landscapes and rocky peaks … howl at the dark horse … howl until strength lags then renews … howl through the blistering heat and driving rain … howl, and howl again. For the lives lost, for the hearts shattered, for the hope that must not wither.

Eye of healing

Come away a while with me

Leave this mess behind

We shall see what we can be

Adventures we shall find

Unicorns and fairy folk

Will be our guides I’m sure

Be sure to wear your woolen cloak

The path leads through the moor

Bring a snack along as well

Tucked in your ample vest

Perhaps a trinket too we’ll sell

Or give as grateful guest

We shall need both tent and kettle

For frequent stops and rests

Camps may harbor stinging nettle

And other loathsome pests

What’s that you say

You think you’ll pass

Too high a price to pay

Then refill my empty glass

And I’ll be on my way

~Ellen Apple, 07 July 2014

Carava1It has been a week today that my brother-in-law Allen Apple passed away. Roger wrote, for all of the love and concern that has been sent his way, the following:

100_5287(as he wrote it – no edits or corrections)

Thank You too All that wished me and My Family Well

It has been a week of Allens Passing ‘ His history on our earth is over. But now I sit alone in a movie theater with Memories Flooding on a constant Loop with tears, Smiles and what ifs

To All Thank You Love you

Allen called me Arlo (here he drew three teardrops)

~ Ellen Apple 7/7/2016

President Obama spoke at 67 funerals during his presidency. We call him the Consoler in Chief, a title he may not really want. In July alone Police officers were killed in Baton Rouge, LA. San Diego CA and sad to say some I don’t remember, killings are everyday occurrences lately. Were it not for the internet we would not be able to keep track. Someone is passing on incident reports DAILY from around the country. The what is now called War on Cops continues not to mention killing of citizens BY the Police….. War? I would use the word Oxymoron.

I watch International News each day in order to keep up with what the world is really, at least what is publicly discussed, thinking about the recent events in the US. It I is for that reason I was watching news from Germany when the shooting happened in Ansbach Germany. It so happens my sister’s neighbor and my friend Andreas Losert was there. He takes pictures of events and here it is in his own words:

The shock is still sitting deep from last night. Through my decision outside the premises at McDonald’s to go to the bathroom, I am the assassination attempt escape.
I was just at the time on a -/ If I had been exit on the site would have gone to the toilet.
Gregor Meyle came on the stage (approx. 21.45 o ‘ Clock) I have the three songs from the ditch photographed am out got my backpack packed and am then to the backstage exit
Out of here. (lucky me).
I would have made the decision on the site to stay and at the entrance to the bathroom to go, I’d be exactly at the time of the offense to have been an assassin.
I have a second birthday

13866604_10207810315553325_766407456_n13884553_10207823992415238_1718135838_nPresident Obama is awarding the Metal of Honor to LT. Col Charles Kettle, the pilot that brought 44 soldier out of an ambush in Vietnam. He got the medal for returning for 8 men who got left behind and I realized THAT is the story my husband always relived while struggling with PTSD and Malaria. My husband was one of the 8 soldiers President Obama is talking about and I FINALLY understand what really happened. My husband in his illness when his body was ravished by fever would pick me up and on occasion throw me 2 feet across the room because he thought I needed to get on the helicopter, thinking I was a comrade, I still have a scar from one of those episode when he thought I was part of the 101 Airborne.

Remember The story I told you about my Grandson fighting to see his little girl? Well, here is an update, with permission….

13874940_10207810359554425_2088863104_nAfter losing partial custody Malcolm took a position as a Commissioner for the Company he works for, which entails him traveling all over the world to inspect and work on Wind Turbines the company has in place. He relocated back to WA since that is where he spends his time off, except for the 2 weeks in August which he is allowed to see his daughter, which lives in Michigan. THIS August the child’s Mother suggested instead of him coming to Michigan, she would like to come to WA for a visit so the family could spend time with the child. He bought 2 tickets TOTAL $1600 and we made arrangements for lodging and a party for the Baby’s 3rd Birthday. You guessed it! MOM Changed her mind and had the audacity to state that Malcolm had missed his chance to visit his daughter, by coming to Michigan, so he has to wait till August 2017 to see his child. It is beyond me how some women can get away with what they are doing. Imagine the hardship some men go through to take care of their children and are only allowed to contribute financially. Malcolm’s sister, my granddaughter and her 2 children had a car accident. She walks through woods with 2 little ones, 6 and 3, at 5:30 AM to get to work. It is dangerous and painful, imagine how that $1600 would have helped her instead of throwing it out of the window for no more than a power-play of a woman that does not care about the harm she causes by separating father and daughter. I am working on a show about “Forced Dead Beat Dads”

Donna Washington allowed me to share one of her blogs with you, I found it extremely interesting.

13900838_10207824001735471_993334866_nI have been a professional storyteller since fall of 1989.  This is the only job I have ever had as a grown up person.  I am also the author of seven picture books for children.  I perform in educational settings, offer workshops for educators, storytellers, presenters of all stripes and families.  I specialize in using storytelling to promote language development and enhance literacy for all ages.  I am also a lifelong student who continues to read, go to workshops and listen.  I’m still working on that last piece, but I’m doing my best.

Friday, July 8, 2016

White For A Black Girl: A Short Observation About Skin Color

My son is nineteen. He does not drive.

13933389_10207824049456664_597557974_nThe first time my blackness was challenged was by black children in Beaumont, TX. I went to school with lots of military children. They were every hue, and from every corner of the world. We didn’t know the world we were part of was not usual. The black children in my grandmother’s neighborhood told me that I ‘talked proper’ like a white person. I had absolutely no idea what they were talking about in those days. All I understood was that I was ‘outside’ and somehow different, but I didn’t know how.

My son is nineteen. He does not drive.

13900830_10207824050576692_1388433434_nI spent my elementary school years in South Korea. In middle school we moved back to the USA. The white kids told me I wasn’t like ‘most black people’ when I was at Eisenhower Middle school in Oklahoma. The black kids ignored, stayed away, or teased me, so I guess the black kids felt the same way. What do you do if everyone tells you that you are not who you are?
My son is nineteen. He does not drive.
At Northwestern University I had people tell me they didn’t ‘think of me as a black person’, or that when they saw me they didn’t ‘see color’. This was supposed to be a compliment. You see, they didn’t hold my color against me. I wanted to shout, “Why do you have to pretend I am not black in order to accept me?” If I had ever said that out loud I am sure I would have offended the very well-meaning people who make these statements, but perhaps I would have made them stop and think. By the time I got to college, I just wrote people off who said things like this. If you can’t accept me as I am, then you aren’t worth my time.

My son is nineteen. He does not drive.

I did some wordless picture books with African American stories. The company who did the recordings had their staff come in and listen to the stories. One of the women was very upset. She raised her hand and asked, “Why didn’t you get a black woman to record these stories?”

My son is nineteen. He does not drive.

So, what is the story here? What does it mean that I am not black? Well apparently it means that…

Black people do not speak clearly
Black people do not use proper grammar
Black people have a very specific voice
Black people do not write clearly
Black people are not polite
Black people do not take honors or AP classes
Black people do not read well
Black people do not write well
Black people do not have friends who are not black
Black people are not kind
Black people are not smart
Black people are not capable
Black people don’t go to the top universities in the country
Black people are not lots of perfectly reasonable civilized things.

Apparently, if black people rise to some higher level, they graduate from blackness, and become honorary white people, or their color doesn’t matter. It is a way of saying, “I met a black person who doesn’t meet the stereotypes that I carry around in my head about black people, so he/she doesn’t count.”

My son is nineteen. He does not drive.

my daughter

…My daughter is sixteen. She is at Governor’s School West for theatre in North Carolina. On Wednesday, the mister and I went up to Winston Salem to see this show the drama group wrote. It was 30 plays in sixty minutes. The students wrote the plays. My daughter was in one called, White for a Black Girl. There were three black girls and each did a short monologue about what it is like to be a smart, accomplished black girl, and to be told that you were, in fact, white. The term now is, “You are the whitest black girl I have ever seen.” or “You are a white black girl.” Each piece ended with, “Is this what you want to see?” A white girl would step up behind them with white paint on her hands and put white hand prints on their faces before moving on to the next girl. The audience was quiet, uncomfortable, a little freaked out in their seats. I wondered, as I sat there, how many of the very white folks sitting around me had ever said that to a black person thinking they were paying them a compliment.

My son is nineteen. He does not drive.

I could start listing the names of the young black men who have been murdered by police in the last four years. I could call out their names and howl into the wind. I could tell about the morning George Zimmerman strutted out of his trial after having murdered a young black man, and how I lay in my bed that next morning sick with worry about the young black man who sleeps across the hall from my room. I could scream to the heavens about the executions of the two black men this week. I could demand justice. I could shout into the teeth of a screaming wind, “Black Lives Matter!” and I know that I will be met with anger from those who yell, “All Lives Matter” or “Blue Lives Matter!”
The problem isn’t that all lives matter. The problem is that we have a story about those lives. The stories we tell are very different.


-Trayvon Martin is killed. The media shows him looking like what the media has decided a ‘thug’ looks like.



– Brock Turner rapes a woman. The media shows images of him in a suit looking clean cut and like the ‘kid next door’.
So, What’s the story here? What does it mean to be a black man in our society?
-Black men are inherently dangerous
-Black men are criminals
-Black men are violent
-Black men are unpredictable
-Black men need to be restrained
-Black men are scary
-Black men deserve to be treated like unstable animals






My son is a good student at Rochester Institute of Technology

My son is a sculptor
My son is a writer
My son is so kind
My son is a conscientious objector
My son is gentle
My son plays piano
My son likes to play Dungeons and Dragons
My son plans a career in 3D modeling
My son is really, really smart
My son loves Cosplay
My son is creative
My son is imaginative
My son would do anything for his friends
My son is a magic bean buyer.
My son is black.

If my son gets pulled over in a car for whatever reason, what will the police officer who pulls him over see?

My son is nineteen. He does not drive.

I’ve never really pushed him to learn. Truth is, I’m terrified.


I live for a day when people don’t have to pretend accomplished black people aren’t black in order to understand or accept them.

Tell Your Story

Donna Washington at 7:16 AM


Author, Publisher Peter Moon found me on Facebook, that was a happy event for me and many of the friends, who are fans of his.


The Virginia and German friends recovered from their flood waters…as well as they could. Most of the fires are under control for the moment.

We are making head-waves with the GMO Issue.

Gary Johnson, the Libertarian Candidate is picking up in the polls.

While they world was hateful and fighting, the countries divided, our Natives showed us what can be achieved when living in peace. Ask me how THAT felt…..Welcome to our shores!



Walgreen’s is selling a contraption which allows you to elevate your feet while “Eliminating” the box said and when walking by my bathroom mirror I have noticed I am beginning to look like “A NORMAL 68-YEAR-OLD”

I FINALLY got some wrinkles!

Love and Light


Edited by Roberta Apple

We, just today, uploaded the Update for the Predictions 2016, here they are.


And for those of you too young to know of Bernie Worrell I am posting this under the fair use act










Attachments area

Preview YouTube video Person of High Strangeness Predictions Update 2016

Person of High Strangeness Predictions Update 2016

Preview YouTube video Parliament-Funkadelic – The Mothership Connection (1976)

Parliament-Funkadelic – The Mothership Connection (1976)



July 2016 Newsletter

While most people ate BBQ and celebrated, I have been sitting here, on MEMORIAL DAY 2016, thinking about my many Family Members, all 9 of them, who were in the Military and were highly decorated. Was thinking, no, trying to imagine, what they had to go through to get a piece of Metal to adorn their chest and what it cost us as a family. I was looking for a document and found some of my Ex-Husbands papers. He must have sent them somewhere when fighting for his disability. Brought up some very deep rooted emotions….

Like each year, a special presentation was shown on Television, this year it was a remake version of ROOTS. There was much chatter on the social sites as what to expect, so here is a little, with permission, of what that looked like.



My FBF Greg Eagles posted:

This version of Roots is indeed a lot different than the one I saw as a kid. They didn’t show Kunta Kinte joining forces with the British army once he ran away in the original version. They just showed John Amos getting caught, tied to a tree, and getting his foot chopped off. In this version they even SHOWED the chopped foot! They are going for the gory, horrific details in this version. But I guess that’s what the times demand. The performances from the largely British cast are impressive. It’s definitely different. But I can’t say it’s all bad. It’s almost like seeing it for the first time. You must brace yourself because since the success of “12 Years A Slave” there’s going to be a plethora of movies depicting this very ugly period of this country’s history. I’m not sure that’s a bad thing even though they haven’t begun to scratch the surface of our history and the noble personalities that helped define it.

I responded: I am warming up to it a little by looking at it as a different story, Will write about it in July Newsletter. I figured that if LeVar Burton is a Exec Producer I will give it a chance. Think we were all predisposed. I had the privilege to go to Henning, TN and meet the offspring of the real people in the book on both sides and they said Mr Haley did a very accurate account of the family stories, so I am looking at this version of an account of the times rather than ROOTS. It was such a great accomplishment to even be able to air the first time and I always thought by Quincy Jones’ music entered people’s conscious mind they learned a lot. I also had my grand-kids watch it when they were older. Young ones have no point of reference. Maybe they need this version….

Since I wrote this much has happened and I would like to elaborate on my visits to Henning. A great Grandson of the Colonel was a gay man. He was in the closet and always afraid someone would discover his sexual preference. He had a house on Mississippi Bottom built on stilts to be safe from the rising waters of the Mississippi and it was only accessible by small planes. It was there he entertained his company. It was shortly after losing my house to a Hate Crime and I had mentioned to him I was looking for a new place to settle with my children. He offered me an exchange. Me, giving the impression to be his female friend to shield him from gossip and he would let me, since I was Light enough live in the “OVERSEERS” Quarters still in existence in 1981. Needless to say, this disturbed me greatly, I declined and returned to Washington State. To this day I feel he had no idea how insulting the Overseer Quarters comments were to me.

I watched the new ROOTS for 8 hours and thought they had done a great job of reconstructing the time period of that time, now that we are used to violence on TV each day. It did not disturb me that the story line of Kunta Kinte’s family was portrayed different than in the original version. Make sure you take a look when the series is on Netflix.

My friend Blue Thunder died and we miss him greatly. He was the PIUTE Brother who made it rain in California to help the drought. See show at the end of the newsletter. 


American Politics occupied the airwaves to the point I decided not to give THAT any more energy. Before getting all hot under the collar it would be wise for us ALL to take another look at the legal proceedings of the Political Parties and discover it’s not over ’til someone sings. Besides, I am going to take another look at that in form of new predictions on the 25th of June. It will be live-streamed on YouTube. Psygeria

Our own ICON Mohammad Ali departed from us and for a split second in time showed us what a Muslim accomplished for this country for such a long time and the place he holds in our history. I remembered having spent time with his daughter MayMay many years ago while she was appearing in Fort Lewis WA. The way her eyes lit up when she talked about her Daddy. He must have been one of the GREATEST people on the planet. It also took me back to the time period when so many, in a combined effort made such leaps forward in the world. EQUALITY. I went down memory lane

and found a video featuring my friend Hugh Masakela. I will post it at the end under the Fair Use Act.

My FBF K Nilly Neal made us aware of the police brutality of some Police officers in Orlando Florida. In his own words:
“At my very own home, a Sumter Deputy detained me for a “seat-belt violation” (??). He then yelled at me to put my hands on the steering wheel. I dialed 911 because I was afraid. ( they’ve done this to me before) Afterward, Officer Hector Otero snatched me out of my truck and held me while Deputy McCaig shot me in the chest with a Taser gun. I did absolutely nothing to deserve it!!! I was actually about to get off of my lunch break, but that never happened. I spent the day in jail with no clue of why I was even jailed. Finally, I was bailed out and given papers with my charge: “arrested for resisting arrest”. That was my only charge. (??? ) As for what my original arrest was, it shall forever be a mystery. Officer Otero lied through his teeth on his incident statement and Officer McCaig obeyed his command to Tase me! I have been charged with a felony…. I tried to get an attorney, but they will not oppose the State, and I don’t have endless amounts of money to buy justice. It’s NOT the whole department that is bad. Some Officers I know personally and really like, However, there are some rotten apples there too…. Pray for me please. Pray for them. Pray for your families. Pray for my wife and kids.




Kenny Neal, also known in our community as K Nilly, is one of the leaders when it comes to bringing our community together from all corners of Sumter County. He’s well known for putting together the annual county wide talent shows for all ages, “Bushnell’s Got Talent”. These events bring our 5 small towns together so often, many of them feel like family reunions and he is recognized by everyone for his warm, welcoming smile.
My name is Jake Jones and I have known him for over 6 years, starting with my first (of many) talent show entries, going on to accidentally become his neighbor. To be brief, he has been a mentor, a friend, and a big brother who cares about his neighbors and his community.
What has happened to him is an injustice that has been happening for too long. Unfortunately, 2016 hasn’t brought everyone into the 21st century and there is still evident racism as natural as if it were the 1950’s in some neighborhoods.
By sharing or contributing to this page, you will be helping us come together to afford an Attorney to take this case and make enough noise to get the corruption out of our police station.

Nilly has agreed to do a show with me per Skype and tell his story. I have researched many things in reference to the subject and I am so proud of Nilly to have the courage to have employed the community to help upstanding citizens to get justice….. let me re-phrase… ALL citizens justice.

While we are talking Orlando…..

These are the deceased victims of the tragedy, which was caused by ONE MANIAC. It will stay with us for a long time.



Orlando link Wikipedia

https://Wikipedia/wiki/List_of_massacres_in_the_United_States In excess of 50,000 people attended the public memorial for the 49 victims.

I have 737 friends on my Facebook. Carefully selected people I have formed personal relationships with, some virtually and some in person.

I am ashamed to report to you that we ALL, with the exception of ONE Caucasian friend, forgot the DATE. June 19th.


Juneteenth is the oldest known celebration of the ending of Slavery. The Emancipation became official Jan 1st, 1863. It took till June 19th, 1865 for the Union Soldiers to land in Galveston and start to enforce the Emancipation Proclamation.

This day has been celebrated through out the years. In the 50’s and 60’s Marches were added in honor of a multitude of causes affecting minority and poor people’s issues. In the 1980’s it became a holiday. Speakers, networking, sharing of food and community issues, music and dance is on the agenda for the day. The attached picture is an opening shot from my show and was created for my show by a friend in Colorado.

With the emerging of our Facebook community this year, those of us unable to physically attend the festivities shared poems, pictures and greetings through electronic means. We were somewhat surprised to find a decline in participation of the younger generation and the lack of education in reference to this enormous event of Juneteenth. Some of us have decided to make an extra effort for next year to add to our circle of online participants.

The Blue Hopi Star has been seen in many locations around the world, fulfilling one of their last prophesies.



This picture is from the following website, unable to give credit to the photographer.

A 2-year old boy was killed by an alligator near Disney World in Orlando. Think FLORIDA-think ALLIGATOR when a sign reads: Stay out of the water.

Oakland CA fired its third Chief of Police in Eight days due to a sex scandal and is put under civilian control.

Part of Ghana is under floodwaters, many dead.

According to EuropaKrisen 65.3 million people are current refugees, that every 113th person living on the planet at this time.

While some of us, for different reasons of course, were Trumping our lives away, this very eventful June has come to a close. Peeps…. relax, be good to yourself and

PLEASE try to DEFRAG yourself!

Love and Light


edited by Roberta Apple

Here is the interview with Hugh Masakela

my friend Hugh Masakela. Great interview

This is the show when Blue Thunder made it rain in California

Now that Females have to register…. a show what some females, the pioneers, did NOT expect when entering the service.

June 2016 Newsletter

This is only the second time in the last 14 years I have no idea what to write about, because it would appear the whole month was a continuation of the last one.

My niece Claudia was visiting from Frankonia.  I broke ribs on the second day of her visit and was reminded what prolonged pain can feel like, since I had to drive and accommodate events while she was here, pain-pills were not an option until each day ended.

On one of our out and about trips to town we decided to treat ourselves at Wagners, the German Bakery in town.  We were really upset when they refused to sell us….in their sit down Cafe… a piece of cake along with the coffee we ordered.  There were many cakes, Cheese, Blackforest, Chocolate, Buttercream and Fruittortes.  They insisted we eat cupcakes, even after we reminded them that we ALWAYS buy their WHOLE expensive cakes for ANY family event ( there are 23 per year). Needless to say we left in disgust and were upset when a relative just a few days later arrived with one of their scrumptious cheesecakes at one of our Birthday Parties.  She had not received the memo. Of cause we ate the costly piece of art and decided it to be the LAST.  Two days later we purchased a cake from Safeway, it was good but we were sad that we had to give up….by principle… our treats from the bakery we had enjoyed for better than 30 years, if I remember the time-line correctly.  Here is a picture from their FB site.

About 40 Earthquakes PER DAY are rocking the PNW under 3 of our volcanoes.  Mt. St Helen. Mt Rainier and Mt Hood.

A big jolt collapsed my wood even though I am many miles away from the earthquake activity.  Are we scared yet?

Some homeless people were shipped out of Portland, Oregon under Project Homeward Bound.  They were given one-way tickets back to their place of origins…to handle the homeless problem.

The Buffalo became the Symbol of USA.

Ancient Aliens, Season 10 has outdone itself with educating people with things which were thought of as far out and only for people of certain and futuristic persuasions.

Hanford, our nuclear dumping ground in Washington State is in the news again.  Many more have become ill, people working there as well as “Down-winders”  people living in the area where the wind carries remnants of the terrible contamination.  My friend Dr Gilbert Jordan, along with his friend Dr Fox had offered to clean up the site in a fashion that would have actually worked.  They were denied permission and funds to do so.  When they approached Canada about the subject they were told if they continued they would be tried with treason.  Needless to say aside from occasionally talking about the subject nothing happened and it would appear nothing will.

I lost my friend Bill Ramsey and with his death a very important source of  information about what is going on in space.  We owe him a great thank you for all the work he used to share so freely.   He was a conduit for many, John Hodginson, Adam Curry, many of the friends interested and pursuing Tesla in some ways.  He recorded sounds in space so we knew what was ahead with storms and high strangeness in general. He was such an humble man and always wanted to stay in the background and I will so miss my friend!

Bill would have loved to comment on a strange encounter I had while having Lunch at a local casino.  Claudia, along with a friend and myself decided to go for lunch.  I was looking for UHU Glue and finally located some in the gift shop across from the very long food line.  I sat on a bench in the walkway while waiting to get my food ticket and smoked a cigarette, thinking about having finally found the glue.  Claudia was unable to bring it on the plane from Europe, so here it was all along…..

A young man, he had Down Syndrome, ran by me from left to right and smiled at me. I smiled back.  A few seconds later a young man, he had Down Syndrome ran by me from left to right and smiled at me.  I smiled back.  I have great affection for people with Down Syndrome because of the unconditional love they have for their fellow man and thought about the fact I have never encountered a set of twins.  After we were seated right in front of the young man and his father I realized it was the same young man I had seen twice within a few seconds and assumed there had been one of Bill Ramsey’s favorite time discrepancies he was so interested in.  He in I were obsessed with them at times. Truth be told.
About 10 PM I was watching TV and noticed my arm was dirty and wondered how it got that way….  WELL… surprise… it was not dirt.  It was fingerprints I must have picked up during the momentary time discrepancy.

Psychic and Medium Danielle Egnew had such a wonderful, simple way to explain the makings of our political dilemma.  I accidentally ran into her post and in true Lilian Fashion befriended her.  I hope to be able to tape a show with her shortly.  Till then she is posted at the end of this newsletter.

66 people died on an Egyptian Airplane, Flight 804.  It was sad news and it took a tragedy of this nature to remove Donald Trump from TV coverage, so many are actually tired to have this person living in our TV sets day after day after day…..
Many conversations and many opinions are circling Social Media as well as amongst Newscasters.  I was asked to re-post an article I wrote a few years back. As requested here it is:

I Hear Hoofs…. Who Goes There?
By Lilian Mustelier

We live in a world of texting and abbreviations, second nature to some and hard to comprehend for others. DID and MPD are short words for something enormous, in fact most people are unable to tell you what they stand for. PTSD is an abbreviation which has been forced into our vocabulary because of the significant amount of people, which have been afflicted.

DID stands for Dissociative Identity Disorder.
MPD stands for Multiple Personality Disorder.
PTSD stands for Post Traumatic Stress Disorder.

The football player Herschel Walker released a book last month: “Breaking Free” .
By doing so he attempted to, once again, bring this subject to the forefront.
20/20 showed a report about…. A woman which wrote a book: The Woman Who Can’t Forget. By Jill Price and Bart Davis.

In 1997 I wrote a book: And The Moral Of The Story Is… One Person At A Time.

Each one of these accounts touches on… in a broad sense… what it is like to be somewhat different.

Let me invite you into my world for a short time and tell you my story.

In 1987 I was diagnosed with MPD. It was determined I had suffered from said disorder since I was 9 years old. Extreme DID/MPD is brought on by severe trauma, torture or experimentation. It serves no purpose at this time for me to explain what this consisted of, only that during this time my own survival mechanism found it necessary to create a path for me to survive certain occurrences.

It created many compartmentalized files in my brain, which are accessible by different parts of me, Lilian. Somehow the brain managed to put in place the unique ability to become a “DIFFERENT” person all together, when it found it necessary to carry out a task. It was documented that even physical changes can occur, for example during an eye examination, in which my sight changed, from short-sighted in the left eye and far sighted in the right eye, to 20/20 vision in both eyes. Suffering from lifelong back problems and mild scoliosis, it was noted that during episodes I walked totally straight. Other times I have been unable to speak English. I am multi-lingual and sessions in other languages have been recorded by my therapist.

Changes in style of dress, food, music and physical activities are also common.

There was a time when I had no recall of anything, unaware of lost time or my whereabouts. It was not unusual to be unable to recall weeks. I jokingly call myself a “HOLEY” person, because I am unable to remember many parts of my life. It is not in my memory bank only to resurface at other times. I am unable to fill out paperwork which dealing with facts, including but not limited to medical history, work history or whereabouts. Many times I have no or very vague recollection of my children. I do not baby-sit my grandchildren due to fear I don’t know who they are and leave them in a stressful situation. I recall an instance taking a granddaughter skating. Not having skated in 20 years I was concerned about falling and hurting myself. Somehow I became 8 years old, the time period when I was an excellent figure skater. When it was time to go home I asked the girl with me to please call her mother, I did not know where we lived. I have made arrangements with my doctors to ask how old I am before leaving their office. Anything less than 16 is reason for concern because at that age I do not know how to drive.

For almost 30 years I have had great therapists which taught me, very patently, how to maneuver. There are no medications one can take, it takes hard work on a daily basis to navigate the maze, which is my life.

In recent times I had a therapist which, in my opinion, was not qualified and set me back in my learning progress by 10 years. Each time, after leaving his office, I would find myself in unfamiliar places. After several hours I did regain control long enough to have friends help me to find my way home. There were also times I would, the next day, find foreign food in the refrigerator. No recollection where I bought them, or how much money I spend. The Lady at my bank would pay a check …This is 2007-2008… dated 1974. She notified me of the overdraft (without charge ) and a friend would have to come to my aid and cover the checks. Please keep in mind while I, LILIAN, have no recollection of many things these OTHER people occupying my body are fully operational and function normally according to their standards. Lilian’s brain just shifts to a different compartment and operates according to the memory file in that part of the brain.

For those of you, which remember an EP/LP record along with the times your record skipped, after slightly tapping the record you might loose a fraction of the song you listened to, but the song would recover. Now picture a CD or DVD. As soon there is any discrepancy, dirt a scratch or malfunction with the disk you will not be able to continue what you listened to. At best you can try a different player, which is usually of no avail. The only choice you have is to reboot and hope the disk will recover. It rarely does. With MPD a person feels a scratch coming on, some times with masterful skills continue play is possible with a few bumps and skips. More often than not the only course of action is to stop, separate from the situation and reboot.

Each one of these disorders require a trigger. A trigger is something which tells the brain to access memories from a certain time period. PTSD, in my opinion, creates vivid memories which play out like a video, transporting the person in the time period said memory was experienced and forces the experiencer to re-live said instance and act accordingly.

DID and MPD act different in as much as it forces the experiencer to shut down and leave, therefore totally switching the brain to a facilitating alter. With intense practice after 30 years I sometimes recognize when I am “Scrambled” If I catch it in time I am able to maintain enough of my composure to stop a switch. Other times my skills let me down and I have to do the best I can AFTER the fact. Example: A friend owns a small aircraft. She offered to take me on a flight in order for me to film aerial shots for my TV Show. I was excited. However, she called while I was writing this article, an almost impossible task. She called to tell me to come on we were going to fly. I said NO. It was only the next day I was able to tell her that one of my OTHER PEOPLE, loved skydiving and I easily could have jumped out of the plane, without a parachute.

As far as we can tell the “Persons” which occupy my body are as follows:
1. Male, in charge of logical decisions.
2. Small child, afraid.
3.Young woman, terrified of riding as a passenger in cars.
4. Woman, creative and excellent painter.
5. Male, prone to failure.
6. Woman, brilliant in business and PR.
7. Woman, mother and defender.
8. Woman, social butterfly as well as dancer very popular with opposite sex.
9. Woman, writer/researcher very focused producer/director/host.

And there is the ME, LILIAN. Nondenominational, wise, extremely psychic, happy and the facilitator of everything which is ME. I am unemployable since I am unable to function at all.

When under stress I am not able to control which part of my brain is going to be accessed, who takes charge of what needs to be addressed next. There was I time I would argue about events, things said and attempt to explain why I would never have done or said what I was accused of and search my memory for days to remember what people around me made reference to. I would have to actually recover physically, much as one has to after surgery. With time I learned that, at running the risk of being called a liar, I now just answer with, this is not in my memory banks at this time, ask me again later, I might remember.

So, what do we need from the people around us?????

Most of us attempt to notify the people which we have close relationships with. Family, select friends, and people we work with, on a need to know basis. Health care providers should be notified, except there is no training other than how to deal with distraught people. In present times that can be a life threatening event for people like myself. Emergency personnel, ER personnel and Police are not trained to allow a person like myself to gain control, at which time everything becomes intensified. For example: I lived under occupation when I was small. A day after Sep.11 I saw soldiers driving by. A police car followed and for a moment I panicked. I realized I would not have been able to tell anyone my name. I was on my way to therapy and it was decided for me to wear a medic alert bracelet identifying me by name and to state I have MPD.

When spoken to I visualize everything a person tells me, sometimes it takes a couple of seconds longer to answer, than it would the average person. This is often mistaken for not answering or disinterest. The response of a person I am conversing with can sometimes act as a trigger. Triggers are different for each person. In my case it can be an odor, an event, holidays, a sound or the person I am dealing with themselves, their tone of voice when speaking or questioning me.

Picture yourself watching a TV program. You follow the story line. All of a sudden someone behind you changes the channel. You have little or no objection since you understand there are more people present than yourself. You get involved in the new story line only to have the channel changed again and again and again at which time you are dizzy. Your blood pressure and adrenaline rises, your choice is to become confrontational or leave. My eye movement will change when someone switches the channel and I will always decide to walk away to reboot. Unfortunately even the people we attempted to educate are not able or willing to afford us this luxury. In rare instances people will deliberately create an instance to switch me in order to accomplish an agenda which is NOT in my interest. A law was passed in the 90’s to charge people with a crime if they were aware of a person’s diagnosis and created a situation in which sexual favors are involved. The charge is Rape.

The suggestion of calling 911 for help does not serve a purpose in as much as a person such as myself is not able to explain to an untrained person what the problem is, it only intensifies the situation. It will add panic to the equation. If I was able to explain my dilemma, I could reboot and fix it myself.

What is needed is TOLERANCE, it is almost more important than UNDERSTANDING. Even people aware of the situation forget or do not want to deal with an episode. They take things personal and are unable to RECOGNIZE something is not right. AT THAT CRITICAL MOMENT. Stand down… Do not offer an aspirin and any medical solution. There is no pill, we need a clear mind and the luxury of composing ourselves. When the episode is over DO NOT ask questions trying to reconstruct what happened, this will only delay the recovery from that incident. Often there is NO memory about what happened. DO NOT TAKE ANYTHING PERSONAL. DO NOT BABY THE PERSON. DO NOT EXAGGERATE THE EVENT. Or outright lie.

I live by myself. Each room is decorated in a different theme. I can tell my frame of mind by which room I spend my time in. I create myself a focus point. I do well when traveling because it is not necessary for me to explain myself since I am only at a place for a very short time. I do things at my own pace. I ask to be reminded of appointments. I do one thing at the same time each week, so I know at least once a week I will return “HOME”. Unfortunately there are many people, which are not able to maneuver in this fashion. They live with others, they may not be as skilled as I have become after 30 years, they may not even know there is something which prevents them from functioning properly. My hope is that more education will be available for ALL of us, especially since so many people have at least PTSD.

Close your eyes, you hear hoofs. You assume, no, you know you hear a horse.
Open your eyes.

In this day of Multi-Choices, Multi-tasking, MultiVerses (multiple Universes) is it unthinkable for there NOT to be Multiple anything.  My Debit Card now has a chip to prove authenticity.  It has to be inserted a certain way to work.  I think this newsletter has be be inserted into the proper slot and…. think about it… it ACTUALLY makes sense…..

Love and Light
edited by Roberta Apple

PS Here is the clip I mentioned with  Danielle Egnew.  A show with Ernest Richards in which he discusses some of the work he and the late Bill Ramsey were involved in.

AND a clip a friend sent me to show how much things change…. but NOT.

This video from Oakland.